


Kidnappings in the Early Evening

by SkyWrites



Series: The Great Detective Papyrus Mysteries! [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Detective Noir, Friendship, Gen, Minor Undyne/Alphys - Freeform, Mystery, POV First Person, POV Papyrus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:46:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6985756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyWrites/pseuds/SkyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When famous robot celebrity, Mettaton, hires private eyes Papyrus and Undyne to get his marvelous missing body back, both find themselves embroiled in more than a simple case of mechanistic mystery. But lazy grifters, gentle florists, and frisky children are no match for the cunning of the Great Detective Papyrus!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Detective Never Takes His Hat Off

**Author's Note:**

> Suggested [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEfA9GccfWI) with a dash of [rain](http://www.rainymood.com/).
> 
> Art image credited to KelCasual! ([Tumblr](http://kelcasual.tumblr.com/post/146416046283/detective-noir-undyne-and-papyrus-commission-for), [DA](http://kelcasual.deviantart.com/art/Detective-Undyne-and-Papyrus-Commission-617427955))
> 
> There's a podfic now! Check out the [first chapter reading](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVT_fBI0Ido&feature=youtu.be) by [Papyreads!](http://papyreads.tumblr.com/)

                                           

Rain drizzled down the city streets, washing the buildings in a soothing blanket. A warm and cozy yellow glow emitted from the street lamps below, not hiding from the night’s darkness, but sleeping with it comfortably. Cars surfed by, sending a gentle splash of water across the chill asphalt. Little speckles of water wandered lazily across my window, meshing with one another or simply sliding down the glass if they felt inclined to.

Ah, the city that never sleeps… It would be weird if it did, because cities are inanimate and therefore never feel tired. Just like me, Great Detective Papyrus! (Nyeh heh heh! etc.) I sipped delicious spaghetti sauce from my coffee mug and watched over the streets. Not a crime or mystery unsolved since I came here! Although, there wasn’t much crime or mystery before either, but that’s not the point! I keep this city clean.

My chair creaked lightly as I leaned back away from the window. They’d be safe for now while I just turn away for a moment.

Across my beautiful mahogany wood desk lay several of my most recently solved mysteries and cases. The great case of the missing Tem Arfitact, the mysterious next-door-vandalism, and the old wives’ tale of the ghostly sewer cries! That second one was a doozy of a case, however, because it turned out the culprit was none other than my own partner! Undyne! Nyeh!!??

Luckily for us, we paid the mysterious fine fees and my partner made sure to stay at least 100 feet away from that building at all times. Case closed!

Speaking of which, my partner was particularly antsy tonight. Her cigarette (which I don’t approve of, by the way!) shifted constantly between her lips, puffs of smoke huffing out at a rapid pace. A couple fiery embers fell on her poor battered trench coat, but she never seemed to care about that thing’s appearance anyway.

She leaned against our many filing cabinets, (while not all filled with cases just yet. Some held my excess spaghetti reserves instead) and kept her arms tight around her chest. That lone eye of hers glared forward, not at me, but at the rainy window behind my well-structured body. I knew that look. That was the look of mystery!

I swiveled my chair excitedly and returned my gaze to the streets. My bones itched for another case! That’s when I saw a rather peculiar pedestrian. A big boxy fellow, zooming across the slippery sidewalks on a single wheel, balancing himself with an interesting dignity. In his dainty metal hands, he held a stylish umbrella with a large golden star painted atop it, made to grab attention certainly. While he had no face, merely only blinking lights across his square body, I could tell he was in distress!

The rainy robot entered our building from the street floor (our office was on the second floor!) and curiously enough, I could swear that the door slammed with an almost dramatic flair to it. He was sure to visit me though, the Great Detective Papyrus! Just to be clear on who I am again. It’s important.

I stoically faced my partner and stood tall, a readied and determined look in my eye sockets. “HOW DO I LOOK, UNDYNE?” I asked, sweat dripping down my skull. Not because I was nervous, but because the rain had somehow gotten me through the window! I forgot to mention that.

Her cigarette’s fiery glow dimly lit her frowning face in the dark spot of our office. I should really get more lamps. With a gulp, she swallowed the tiny thing. “Your coat is fine as always, but I think the fedora is a bit much. Humans really ruined that, you know.”

“B-BUT! I FEEL SO MYSTERIOUS AND HANDSOME IN IT!” I said, mysteriously and handsomely.

Before Undyne was about to cave and admit that I _do_ look good in my hat, a knocking interrupted her. That bionic box was here, and I wasn’t about to leave our customer waiting.

“Door’s open. Come in,” Undyne mumbled rather rudely. She snapped her claw-like nails together and created a couple sparks which she used to light another cigarette.

The not-so-rusty robot rolled in on rainy wheels. If he had legs, I assume they would be up to here. I’m not quite sure what height ‘here’ is, but many grizzled detectives happen to note their clients leg length in conjunction to their nearness to ‘here.’ As I am one of those grizzled detectives, I feel required to note down such an important detail.

“WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU, SIR?” I asked grizzledly, sitting back against my chair.

The classy computer composed himself, cupping his hands together. He seemed to be creating a dramatic pause. “I’d like you two to solve…” The lights on his chassis went dark. Another pause. “ _A murder.”_

“GASP!” I gasped. Undyne merely eyed the airy automaton skeptically. “WHOSE MURDER SHALL WE INVESTIGATE?”

Dramatic pause. I could almost feel a camera zooming in on our client’s body. I began to sweat profusely; the suspense was killing me! A drink from my mug would calm m-

“ _My own!!”_

Double gasp!! What a twist! And before the case even started!!

I spat my spagoffie (spaghetti coffee) across my pristine desk. My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at the shock. Undyne wasn’t impressed, although I am uncertain as to why. “HOW CAN WE INVESTIGATE YOUR MURDER, SIR, UHH…”

“Mettaton,” he breathed theatrically.

“METTATON, YES…” Sounded familiar. “HOW CAN WE INVESTIGATE YOUR OWN MURDER WHEN YOU LOOK TO BE VERY MUCH ALIVE?” I scratched at my chin in thought, wishing I could grow a rugged beard to really fit the part.

The marvelous metal machine known as Mettaton momentarily meditated. “Surely you recognize that name, don’t you?” For a brief moment, he lost that flair of his. “What kind of crappy detective…” he muttered under his metal mantle. I probably just heard that wrong.

That’s when it clicked! Mystery solved! This majestic motor man was none other than Mettaton! A huge star here in this metropolis and around the globe! “I’M SORRY, MR. METTATON. I’VE SEEN YOU ON TV QUITE A BIT, BUT YOU LOOKED DIFFERENT. YOU SEEM TO BE MISSING SOMETHING NOW…”

The riveting robo was waiting for this. “ _My body!?_ ” he exclaimed, thrilled he could yell it so dramatically. “Exactly. My fabulous body!” A spotlight appeared on him. How?? There are no spotlights in my office?? “I was murdered! Molested! Manhandled! M-”

“Get to the point, for god’s sake,” Undyne growled, annoyed. I was quite enthralled by the theatrics myself, however.

Spotlight flickering off, the sparkles he emanated fell to the floor ungracefully. The sighing cyborg’s blinking lights grayed as he felt his soul sucked from him. “Somebody stole the body I use for television,” he said bluntly. “I use this body you see now to go about my day, knowing no one will recognize me.” He pulled out a mirror from an unknown compartment and began ogling himself. “I’m still a sexy square, of course, but I need that other body for my adoring fans!”

Ah, yes. It was all coming together now. I reached for my notepad, pen, and paper and readied myself to ask another important question. “DO YOU-”

“Do you have any idea who would want your body? You suspect anyone?” Undyne asked.

Aw.

The ecstatic electronic tossed his mirror away casually with a loud shatter. “Oh my, I’m sure _everyone_ wants that body of mine!” Mettaton began wiping himself down with a loose rag just thinking about it. “Why anyone who watches my shows would want it!”

“IT _IS_ A NICE BODY.”

Undyne nodded in agreement. “But why come to us? Surely someone of your financial situation and celebrity level would prefer a more experienced…”

“NONSENSE!” I interrupted with a shout. “CLEARLY HE CAME TO US AFTER SEEING OUR PAST WORK AND-”

“No.” Double interrupted! Dang! “I came to you two because barely anyone knows you losers even exist,” Mettaton said, wagging a finger. His demeanor seemed to change at the flip of a switch. “From what I gather, you idiots don’t even ask for pay.” A skull animated itself on his chest now. “Also, if you two die or _worse_ , no one will miss you or figure out what happened.”

Ouch. That was certainly rude and did sting quite a bit, but I was sure this Mettaton fellow was just having a bad day. After all, he _did_ lose his body. It was understandable to be a little grumpy.

Undyne grinded her fangs together angrily, shredding the cigarette into tiny little pieces. “You really think we’re gonna help you with that kind of attitude?”

I slammed my bony palm on my desk, splattering spaghetti sauce. “WE’LL TAKE THE CASE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by [Sky](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/699150/Sky-s-Penname) with my help. 
> 
> Crossposts here!  
> [FF.net](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11967832/1/Kidnappings-in-the-Early-Evening)  
> [Tumblr](http://darkhymns-fic.tumblr.com/tagged/undertale-noir/chrono)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	2. Her Kind of Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus and Undyne visit MTT studios for their investigation and commit several fire code violations in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continue using Chapter 1's music if you wish or try some different suggested [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nw6EkI_AHDA&list=PLULvqreQJEtAY_TR6I39m77T2Gqp3_xsJ) for this chapter with the usual [rain](http://www.rainymood.com/).
> 
> The [podfic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDWuwMqLavQ) for chapter 2 is up and running! Done by the great [Papyreads](http://papyreads.tumblr.com/) who also did the fantastic [art!](http://papyreads.deviantart.com/art/Kidnappings-In-The-Early-Evening-Ch-2-fanart-639421753)

Rain droplets pitter pattered lightly atop my rattling bone umbrella as my partner and I walked these sleepy streets together. Fluffy black rainclouds floated above the city, some of the taller buildings actually piercing right through the cozy pillows. Just a few blocks away, a pair of spotlights danced across the soft sky, enticing any that might have laid eyes on it. There were even some Temmies that were working tirelessly on a construction job nearby, where an assortment of old yellowed posters peeled off the sides; detailing café openings, missing children, furniture selling, etc. Through all that, a human child splished and splashed along the sidewalk across the street from us, clearly on his or her way home for the night, or at least I hoped so.

Undyne refused an umbrella of her own, and for these occasions I didn’t complain. A rare smile lit her face as the water sprinkled her scales. Her red hair was dark and sopping wet, along with her trench coat, but she seemed so comfortable with it all and so at ease. Instead of her usual cigarette, a friendly grin was held in her lips. Even out in this cold, damp weather, Undyne’s warmth was infectious.

That miraculous manbot Mettaton didn’t leave us with many leads before he had left. Luckily, my partner had a friend very close to our client that went by the name of Alphys. Now, I’m not too privy to Undyne’s relationships as she is never one to talk about them, but from what I gather, they are probably romantically involved.

Our destination was nearing. The spotlights in the sky grew larger and brighter, and the city itself was getting a bit gaudier with every step. Brightly colored neon lights began infesting the buildings now, as if they were an incurable plague. Billboards and posters alike advertised all across the streets, showing off a posing Mettaton in his slim and sleek (now stolen) body. Late Night with Mettaton, Mettaton X Viewer, Mettaton Channel 5 News, Mettaton Channel _6_ News, and a whole array of other such titles were plastered throughout. Fashion stores featuring the latest hip Mettaton brand clothes strangely stayed dark and closed tonight. Perhaps the rainy nights kept the customers away from their usual shopping.

At the center of it all was the famous MTT Studios. Brilliant gold archways depicting Mettaton’s splayed-open legs stood over the entrance, his rump posed scandalously towards the viewer. Written on the glorious golden glute were the words “M.T.T. Studios.” Undyne grimaced at the sight.

Mettaton certainly had some expensive tastes, I noted. A small human child scampered up the steps ahead of us happily, dashing through the doors up top. The two of us also made our way up a rather large flight of marble stairs, which were made quite dangerous by the rain’s slipperiness. I, of course, made it to the top with only a few trips and falls. A great feat!

Our trek complete, I shook the moisture off my stylish bony umbrella and placed it inside one of my larger trench coat pockets for safe keeping. Undyne, however, preferred to stay dripping wet. The soothing rain no longer affected her here, her usual scowl creeping back to her lips.

Like the gentleman that I am, I held open the exquisite diamond encrusted doors for my partner. “LADIES FIRST, NYEH HEH!”

She eyed my fedora harshly and simply let out an “Ugh.” My fashion sense must have made her jealous! So jealous that she actually kicked open another door instead of simply walking through my open one.

If the buildings before here were gaudy, then the inside of MTT Studios was surely the god of gaud! My senses were overwhelmed by bright lights, catchy dance music, and screeching advertisements for Mettaton brand cereal and the like. Beneath my slightly soggy boots, I stood upon a royal purple carpet with a pattern of different Mettaton poses on each little square. Fancy!

Now, while I may have enjoyed the colorful lights and the UNCE UNCE of the techno bass pounding, Undyne looked like she was suffering. In an almost desperate attempt, her claws trembled as she scrambled through her trench coat, searching for a cure to her problems. Nearly dropping her treasure in haste, she ripped out a soggy cigarette and clicked her nails together, hoping with all her heart for a flame to appear. The once soothing water was now preventing her precious smoke.

“NGAAAH!” Extremely flustered and out of options, Undyne conjured up a green light spear that floated dangerously in the air above her cigarette. With an aggravated battle cry, the spear shot toward the rather disgusting thing, flying haphazardly into the glass doors behind and shattering at least a few of them.

The cigarette was now completely a flame, like, _REALLY_ on fire. I was about to warn Undyne, but she took in a big puff and let out a smoke-filled sigh and I decided she probably knew what she was doing. She’s only set a couple of buildings on fire that I can think of anyway.

“W-what in the hel-heck is going on over there!?” a voice stammered in the distance, trying its best to be heard over the noise tornado that we had somehow entered.

I couldn’t see the mysterious stammerer, but I was quite trained in the art of yelling myself. “AH, SORRY, MY PARTNER JUST WANTED TO LIGHT ONE OF HER _CANCER STICKS.”_ I audibly glared at her. “AND SHE SEEMS TO HAVE DESTROYED A FEW DOORS, SOME CARPET, AND OH MAYBE A FEW OTHER THINGS… IT’S A GOOD THING THERE’S NO FIRE DETECTORS HERE, OR ELSE WE MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT MORE WET THAN USUAL TOO!”

“Oh god, please just c-come over here!” the high-pitch wine of the voice actually reached us over all the hullabaloo. I shrugged and figured it was as good a lead as any! The two of us made our way towards the nasally mystery.

_SLAM!_

Firmly shut behind us, the door blocked out the hurricane of noise from the main entryway. The sudden silence was quite awkward, mostly because our mysterious third-party stutterer was muttering and huffing things between her breath.

“Thanks for getting us out of there, Alphys.” Undyne sighed, a large cloud of black smoke exhaling from her mouth.

The small lizard-like girl furrowed her eyebrows toward my partner and her still-burning-way-too-hot cigarette. “I-I thought you said you quit!”

Undyne’s sole eye went wide for a moment in realization. “Aw, geez, babe,” she grumbled, tossing the flaming thing onto the floor. “You know how much I hate this place; I couldn’t help it is all.”

Wowie! I could never get Undyne to stop smoking! This ‘girlfriend’ must be powerful indeed.

“N-not on the t-tile!” The mousy dinosaur’s glasses fogged over as she became even more flustered. Her objection was too late, however, as my partner proceeded to stomp the fire out with her boot much too roughly. “Undyne…”

While the two had their little lover’s quarrel, I decided it prudent to study my surroundings! Possibly for clues! Some clues would be nice.

Alphys herself looked to be quite tightly wound. Atop her dainty dino-head lay a well-used headset. It appeared to be barking (or meowing? Hmm..) orders constantly into her ears, but she ignored it as if it were nothing more than the usual rain outside. Her attire was quite fashionable if I do say so myself, but Undyne didn’t approve with questions like “Does he really make you wear that?” “Twenty pieces of flair!?” The outfit in question was a mix of bright purple and black overalls, absolutely covered with Mettaton themed pins and other do-dads.

One pin in particular on the outfit caught my eye sockets attention. It read ‘ _Anime was a mistake. Mettaton is the cure!’_ It was absolutely covered in scratch marks and smudges, as if constantly getting taken on and off or just getting a beating in general. No other pin or button was this messy. With the bags under her eyes, my great intuition told me Alphys may have been quite over-worked and maybe not quite so happy working here.

I jotted down some notes on my notepad quickly while they were distracted. Undyne certainly wouldn’t like it if she knew I might suspect her girlfriend even in the slightest.

The room in question was a bit of a pigsty, or I guess a dinosty. (or a lizardsty? What is Alphys anyway??) Bags of uncooked ramen littered the tables, traces of the little noodles were scattered about the tile beneath. Such a wasted potential of possible pasta! Amidst the ramen, some tables were used simply to display her action figures. How cool! A Mettaton figure stood lonesome far away from the rest, gathering dust. Wowie, most of these figures certainly had big heads and eyes among other things! Her collection could even rival my own!

I shook my skull. Focus! We could talk super cool figures after the case.

Papers littered Alphys’ work desk; some crumpled and dirtied, some kept in a much more pristine condition. Most of the papers depicted some slightly crude drawings of Mettaton’s stage body all in different costumes and sets and with all sorts of different uses like ice cream compartments, microphones, heat seeking missiles, extra cameras, chainsaws, etc. All standard Mettaton stuff really.

“YOU MUST WORK QUITE CLOSELY WITH METTATON’S BODY, MS. ALPHYS,” I stated pretty cooly, I must say.

The nerdy dinosaur nearly jumped out of her skin at the statement, completely dropping her little spat with Undyne. “W-w-well yes! I c-c-created Mettaton, after all,” she stuttered just a bit more than usual. “We’re uh g-good … friends.” Alphys looked away at the last part.

Undyne huffed and grumbled sarcastically under breath. “Yeah, sure.”

“We are!” Alphys insisted in a whiny tone, and just like that, they had forgotten about me again, going into another little quarrel.

My keen and handsome eye sockets brought me to another interesting point of… interest! A large TV screen was tucked away in a corner of the room. The screen was split into quite a number of squares, each watching over sections and rooms of MTT Studios. One showed the front entrance, where we had entered. Temmies clambered and vibrated over the broken doors and burnt carpet, cleaning up any mess we (My partner!) had made. Strangely enough, the camera’s focus wasn’t on the entrance, but more so on a statue of Mettaton’s behind. In fact, almost every camera seemed to be more focused on statues or pictures of Mettaton than the room themselves!

“MS. ALPHYS, WHY AREN’T THESE SECURITY CAMERAS WATCHING THE ROOMS THEY’RE IN?” I asked, keeping a grizzled and mysterious gaze at the possible clues.

Once again, the anime fanatic found herself startled. “O-oh! W-well… Mettaton s-said that the cameras can’t help but watch him.” She coughed and tried to give her best smile. “Even though he demanded the cameras be put like that…”

Interesting. I scribbled away on my notepad. “SO THEN THE BODY THIEF WASN’T CAUGHT ON CAMERA AT ALL I ASSUME? NO ONE SAW THEM?”

A sigh escaped her lips, and Alphys looked down at the tile, defeated. “N-no… sorry. I wasn’t here last night during the theft either. Only the Temmies working might have seen something b-but…  W-well, they’re Temmies.”

My partner tensed up at the mention of Temmies and a brief flash of disdain appeared on her face, but instead chose to comfort her girlfriend. In an act of uncharacteristic gentleness, Undyne knelt down and placed an arm around Alphys’ hunched shoulders. “C’mon, you know it’s not your fault. Mettaton’s the one to blame.” The nerdy female began to visibly heat up, sweat appearing all over her body.

Aww. I felt bad for making Alphys feel bad. But I couldn’t let down our client, as much as Undyne might have disliked him. We promised, or at least I promised, that we’d do our best to find the culprit and bring the missing body back! I needed to ask the hard hitting questions or else what kind of detective was I?

Something had been bothering me, too. It was best to get it out into the open. “COULDN’T YOU JUST MAKE ANOTHER BODY, MS. ALPHYS?”

Another sigh, but Undyne’s touch seemed to give confidence to the little dino. Her eyes met my sockets now, although still faltering quite a bit I must note. “W-well yes… but you see… Mettaton was quite close with that body and w-well uh…” she looked nervously around the room. “MTT Studios is kinda c-c-completely broke.”

Holy twist! My hat nearly fell off my skull. I was twisted so much! “BUT! THE GOLD STATUES! THE BRIGHT LIGHTS! THE TEMMIE CREW! ALL THAT FAME! HOW?”

Alphys gave me another one of her sheepish smiles. “K-kinda answered your own question there, heh heh?”

She finally broke down and began to desperately search through her overall pockets, much like Undyne did at the entrance. Grinning momentarily, she pulled out a small carton labeled ‘Pocky’ and began nibbling the sticks almost frantically. “M-Mettaton isn’t exactly good at spending his money wisely as you can see… And the T-temmies are actually an extremely cheap source of labor. Certainly not the best labor b-but cheap nonetheless.”

Undyne’s arm quickly left Alphys’ shoulders. “Hey! I thought you said _you_ quit!” she grumbled, glaring at the little chocolate covered sticks.

“These aren’t nearly as bad!”

“Fine, then gimme one!” Undyne reached out for the pocky impulsively.

Alphys pulled the carton away defensively, hiding the box in her overall pockets again. “N-no!! They’re mine!” she screeched a bit too loudly.

“LADIES PLEASE! YOU BOTH CLEARLY HAVE PROBLEMS PUTTING GROSS STICKS IN YOUR MOUTHS!”

Alphys’ eyes widened with shock at my deep words, and Undyne started to snicker uncontrollably like a twelve-year-old for some reason. “I wouldn’t say that,” she said between laughs. I don’t understand why my words of wisdom were so funny to her and frankly it was a kind of hurtful!

The barking/meowing from Alphys’ headset suddenly started getting louder, almost loud enough for me to hear even. I cast my hurt feelings aside and tried my best to listen. Most of it sounded to be gargled nonsense, but I heard one thing over and over. “tHe fAMilY!!”

What a strange thing to say. It seemed to be upsetting Alphys more than my questioning. Even around Undyne, she was unable to control her shivers. The poor thing was so vulnerable, but I would not let the truth hide!

“WHAT IS ‘THE FAMILY’ MS. ALPHYS?” I inquired as politely as I could.

The yellow color in her scales faded. Her eyes met mine with a look of utter and complete horror. Undyne desperately tried to console her girlfriend, but Alphys was unable to relax. “N-n-n-nothing! It’s n-n-n-nothing!! I just realized I-I-I-I…” her breathing was completely erratic; her chest was heaving. “I have w-w-work to do! I have to go! Now! Sorry!”

Undyne’s eye was wide, I don’t think even she had seen the little dino act like this. “Alphys, what-”

“G-gotta go, love you, bye!!” Even in Alphys’ haste, she wouldn’t forget a kiss goodbye to her girlfriend.

“Love you t-” Undyne had started to say absentmindedly, but it was too late. Alphys had already scurried out the door to deal with whatever that was that had upset her so.

I myself was feeling quite shocked as well at this point. Who or what was ‘The Family?’ Could it possibly be tied to the theft? If so, why wouldn’t Alphys tell us? What could it be that she wouldn’t even tell her own girlfriend?

My partner and I stood in silence in the suddenly very lonely room, accompanied only by the buzzing of the florescent bulbs above.  We exchanged worried glances towards one another. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT? WHAT ‘THE FAMILY’ MEANS?”

Undyne frowned, her eyebrows furrowed. “No,” she stated bluntly, already reaching for a cigarette now that the coast was clear. My fishy partner growled puffs of black smoke through her teeth, irritated by the subject. “We can’t get sidetracked, Paps. Let’s question some possible witnesses about the theft.”


	3. A Family Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus and Undyne try to interview some Temmies (keyword: try) for clues to Mettaton's case. Then a familiar-looking informant enters the scene...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested reading [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xsvn6JiK_o&list=PLULvqreQJEtDr3h9XqhtiS_2O0tkE73go&index=1) for chapter 3.
> 
> Listen to the [podfic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RprgYUsODs&feature=youtu.be) by [Papyreads!](http://papyreads.tumblr.com/) Including awesome [fanart](http://papyreads.deviantart.com/art/Kidnappings-In-The-Early-Evening-Ch-3-fanart-653752789)!

“hOI! i’m tEMMIE!”

I frowned and scratched my skull. “YES, YOU ARE TEMMIE. YOU’VE ALL BEEN SAYING THAT. YOU’RE THE TWENTIETH ONE TO SAY THAT. PLEASE, DO YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THE BODY THEFT LAST NIGHT?” I was nearly begging at this point.

“hOI?” the Temmie repeated again, confused, just like all the rest. My heart sank.

I sighed, defeated. My notepad was now filled to the brim with pictures of Temmies and Temmie dialogue that were not at all relevant to the case. I’m not sure why I did this. God why did I do this.

Undyne and I had made our way through MTT Studios’ rather convoluted hallways and found ourselves at a dimly lit bar. I’m certain it was meant to be for monsters and humans alike, but Temmies had taken over the area, using it as a rest stop between their construction and other various duties. Low-resolution pictures of Mettaton, cats, and just strange, almost frightening squiggles hung across the walls.

Temmies of mostly all the same exact shape and size vibrated gleefully through the joint. Their voices floated ungracefully through the bar’s atmosphere with noises like “aaAA cUTE!”, “tEM!”, and “glomps u.” One Temmie worked behind the bar counter, attempting to clean a glass with a rag nonchalantly, but for the most part was just making it dirtier. Glasses constantly shattered behind it, its vibrations almost always sending the glass zooming to its timely demise on the tiled floor. The bar worker Temmie did not mind.

“NGAAAAH! Speak English!”

Undyne wasn’t having any better luck than I at getting information out the Temmies. Across the bar, I witnessed her mercilessly shouting and punching a Temmie in the face over and over. Each punch made a cute little squeak sound, as if the Temmie were merely a doggy chew toy. The Temmie was more unsettled by the yelling than the actual violence inflicted on it. “m-mUScLES! r nOT cUtE!” it squeaked.

As frustrated as I was as well, I couldn’t allow my partner to beat up innocent civilians! She could do that on her own time!

I dashed through the bar, heroically pushing aside squishy Temmies and knocking a few plates and mugs over in the process. Locking my bony arms underneath Undyne’s armpits, I effectively stopped her merciless punching. “UNDYNE, STOP, YOU’RE A LOOSE CANNON WHO DOESN’T PLAY BY THE RULES!” I yelled almost directly into her ears. During the kerfuffle, the Temmie managed to vibrate out of its beating and scurry out of the bar. In its place, a few strange, crusty white flakes lay on the seat’s cushion.

“Let me go!” Undyne rampaged in my arms. Honestly, I was pretty surprised I could hold her at all but then I remembered I _am_ the great Papyrus after all! “They’re taking our jobs! Over populating our streets! Bringing crime to our town! They’re all alike!”

Wowie. Undyne clearly had some racist tendencies that we would really have to have a long talk about after the case was over.

Her flailing arms lessening, I deemed it fit to let her out of my boney grip. Her chest was heaving and a vein was pulsing on her forehead, but she appeared to have some self-control back. “ARE YOU GOOD NOW? NO MORE BEATING UP POSSIBLE WITNESSES?” I asked, a skeletal eyebrow raised skeptically.

“Yeah,” she huffed. “Yeah, I’m good. I won’t do that again, sorry.” Undyne’s eye fell upon another Temmie quietly vibrating to itself in a table across the way. Her eyelid twitched. “NGAAAAH!” Diving through glass mugs and wooden chairs, Undyne was already pounding another helpless Temmie.

“OH MY GOD.”

* * *

The bar was almost completely destroyed at this point. Chairs were splintered into pieces atop tables, tables were smashed against paintings and paintings were cracked in half on broken walls. The Temmies had fled their once peaceful hangout. All but one.

The barkeeper Temmie. She continued to clean her mugs, shattering them against the floor every time without fail. This one was completely unfazed by the destruction around her. She must have been different.

Now, I never wanted it to come to this, but I was desperate. I told Undyne to smoke a couple cigarettes to calm down and let me ask some questions. Luckily, it worked. Those cancer sticks really toned down that racist attitude of hers.

Scooping up some spare Temmie flakes off the debris, I sauntered casually over to the Temmie barkeep and coolly rested an elbow on the counter. “hOI! i’m tEMMIE!” she vibrated cheerily, another mug shattering behind her.

“I’M LOOKING FOR SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE THEFT OF METTATON’S BODY LAST NIGHT,” I said in a grizzled tone, confidence filling my rib cage now.

The Temmie tilted her head. “hOI? cUtE SKELeToN!! u wANT glOMPZ?”

I wouldn’t give up! I had an ace up my sleeve now! I slid a white flake across the counter to the barkeep, my skeleton brows raised in mischievous knowing.

The Temmie’s eyes went wide. Her vibrating finally stopped, and a glass slipped out of her paws and _didn’t_ shatter into a million pieces. “u! u’s gOT tEM FlaKE!!! I gOTTA hAv!!!”

I chuckled to myself and slipped a few more flakes her way. They were actually quite disgusting. I was happy to be rid of the things. Undyne harrumphed but continued to puff away, sometimes directly into the Temmie’s overly excited face.

A fat stack of flakes now in reach, the Temmie suddenly looked to the left and to the right, as if suspicious of the bar itself. Her voice became calm, serious even. “Mettaton owes a lot of people a lot of money. His biggest debt belongs to _The Family_ by far.” She leaned in closer to me and whispered, “That body of his is worth quite a bit, you know.”

A clue! Finally! I was ecstatic. I could write something relevant down on my notepad! But, I couldn’t get too carried away now. “THERE’S THAT NAME AGAIN. ‘THE FAMILY.’ WHAT IS THE FAMILY?” I asked firmly, my pencil shaking as I could barely contain my excitement.

Smiling again, the Temmie began vibrating and dropping her mugs in rhythmic fashion as if nothing had happened. “aaaAA! hOI! i’m tEMMIE!”

Undyne slammed a fist down into the counter, wood splinters shooting in all directions. Shavings of cigarette ash and paper fell, her fangs grinding whatever was left of it into dust. “Lies! This thing doesn’t know squat!” she shouted. “How do we know _it_ didn’t steal the body?!”

It was a valid point. The Temmies had ample opportunity to steal the body as well, but were they competent enough to do it? Sure, it might have been some good money in the short run, but Mettaton was paying them, even if it wasn’t much. It wouldn’t help to put their boss out of business, would it?

That’s when I remembered! My other ace! I have a lot of aces in my trench coat physically and metaphorically. They’re great confidence boosters. “AHA! WE MIGHT NOT KNOW, BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO _MIGHT_ … UH… KNOW!”

Undyne raised an eyebrow.

“I’VE GOT AN INFORMANT WORKING THE STREETS! NYEH HEH HEH!” I really like saying that. I knew just where to find him! I swiveled my bar stool and turned 180 degrees, and there he was!

Sans greeted me with a limp, lazy wave. “hey, bro,”

Empty ketchup bottles were scattered around his part of the bar counter, as if he’d been there the whole time. I was used to Sans’ shenanigans at this point, but my partner’s eye was wide with surprise and some of that classic Undyne grump.

I scanned my lazybones brother and frowned quite audibly. His blue winter coat cut through the dark mysterious tone the bar had set up like a rusty knife. Pink slippers dangled awkwardly off his boney toes just over the floor, in a perpetual state of almost-falling-off-but-never-quite-getting-there. “SANS!” I found myself quite distracted. “WHY DO YOU WEAR THAT COAT! IT NEVER SNOWS HERE, YOU KNOW THAT! YOU COULD AT LEAST DRESS UP FOR THE PART!”

Just like the coat he wore, Sans was just too lazy to let that same goofy grin of his ever leave him.  “i guess i’m just neither here _noir_ there.” He winked, as if he had just made one of his awful puns. I didn’t get it! I hate it! “you know, cuz the setting.” I didn’t think it possible, but he seemed to grin even wider. ALSO, I STILL DIDN’T GET IT.

“HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ANYTHING USEFUL AT ALL?” I eyed those gross ketchup bottles with distaste. “I THOUGHT GETTING YOU OUT OF GRILLBY’S WOULD CHANGE YOUR WAYS.”

Sans waved away my words so casually. How annoying! “no worries, bro. i’ve been busy gathering intel on the streets. top stuff. in fact, i’m in the middle of speaking with one of my sources right now.”

Oh! So Sans has actually been doing his job! How good! “WHERE IS THIS SOURCE OF YOURS THEN?”

He pointed to the barkeep Temmie, who was still dropping glasses to the floor.

“SANS,” I said, magnanimously keeping my calm. “I ALREADY INTERVIEWED HER.”

“there’s more than one way to talk to this temmie, bro. trust me.” Then Sans faced the Temmie barkeep, smiling widely at her.

She must have sensed him, for she then raised her head to look at my brother. “hOI?”

“hey, tem.” Sans winked. “ya ready?”

Suddenly, Temmie’s eyes lit up. Literally. They started to glow a pure white, blinding light as she bounced up and down on her feet, gasping and clearly very excited about something. Sans didn’t seem to be affected by it, still sitting on that stool with that grin of his, like always.

“great. now watch carefully.” Sans was now holding onto one of those gross tem flakes in the palm of his hand. In fact, it was much more gross then the usual! All wet and gloopy, as if someone had just chewed on it moments ago.

“tEM TEM!” The Temmie bartender was just vibrating all over the place, hovering against the rows of wine and champagne bottles lined up behind it, sending such expensive vintage crashing to the ground. But she paid no attention, only to my lazybones brother who was holding that tem flake like it wasn’t completely unsanitary. “u sel tEM FLaks?!”

Sans shook his head. “hey, temmie, pal. you know that’s not how the game works.” He gestured to the bar counter, where suddenly three red plastic cups were placed there! They were rather big, and were upside-down. My detective expertise told me that was not how cups were usually presented.

The Temmie’s eyes widened, losing their previous glow but no less beyond intrigued. Her jaw went so slack that a waterfall of drool fell to the ground. It was really disgusting! Her little nubby paws slammed against the counter. “gAMe! pLaY wit cuT skellingtonnnn!1!” She just kept repeating this for about five minutes.

Finally, Sans nodded. “yep. here. rules are like last time.” He turned the middle cup back on into the correct upright position, then let the tem flake slide off his palm to fall into it, making a weird sloshing sound as it did so. Again, really gross. “find the tem flake and you win. real easy.”

“gAM naow!” The Temmie was frothing at the mouth. She looked like she was going into epileptic seizures. It was what the curious Temmies were most famously known for, after all. “aaaAAAA!!1!1!!”

“hold on.” Sans held out his hand, completely nonplussed. “these games don’t come free, you know.”

And just like that, the Temmie pulled out a fat wad of cash from the register, viciously breaking the machine in half in the process. She placed the money right in front of Sans, her eyes physically shaking so fiercely that I feared they would fall right off her face. It has happened before! It’s not nice to witness, trust me.

The Temmie placed both paws on the counter, and breathed out in such a low and frightening voice. _“Gaaaaammeee.”_

“ok.” Sans swiftly pocketed the money, turned the middle cup back upside down. “make sure you don’t lose it. my hands know a trick or two.”

He stuck his hands in his coat pockets, swinging his feet on the bar stool. The Temmie was burning holes into the unmoving cups.

“alright, done.” He nodded at the counter. “make your choice.”

An uneasy feeling shivered through my bones, followed by immense fraternal disappointment. He could not be doing this again! Could he?!

The Temmie poked at the middle cup, upturning it on its side. There was nothing under the cup, not even a saliva trail.

Sans shrugged. “sorry, wrong one.” He then gave his usual obnoxious wink. “tell you what. i’ll let ya have another go. fifty-fifty chance. i’m rootin’ for ya, buddy.”

The Temmie became twice as excited for this. She then proceeded to knock aside the plastic cup on the left, shooting it straight at Undyne’s head. Undyne glared, but no one playing this game seemed to notice. There was nothing under this cup either, just another blank space.

“guess luck’s not on your side.” My brother kept grinning as he pointed at the last cup. “but i like ya, tem, so one more shot.”

The Temmie was continually slapping her paws against the counter, denting the wood, like it was something that people genuinely enjoyed watching. We really didn’t. “tEM wIN! tEm hAV systum!” She tackled the cup, gnawing it viciously, her eyes so bloodshot. There was no tem flake. Of course, there was no tem flake. It was my brother. He would not leave a tem flake there where a Temmie with tem flake abuse issues could get to.

Sans held up his hands and shrugged again. “a high stakes game. really thought you’d win for sure. but hey, sometimes it just happens.”

“tEM WAN pLAy!” The temmie kept pulling up wads of crisp, clean cash from behind the counter, and shoved them into Sans’ face. “giv tEM wat sHE WAN.”

“ok.” Sans reached for the cash agai-

“SANS!” I said, unable to watch such illegal happenings any longer. “I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.”

“talked about what, bro?”

“YOUR SWINDLING LIFESTYLE. YOUR LIFE OF SWINDLES. REMEMBER? HOW WE BOTH AGREED THAT YOU SHOULD LEAVE YOUR GRIFTING WAYS BEHIND?”

“aw bro, that’s not what this is.” He patted Temmie on the head, who was frothing/vibrating. “we’re just playing a game, that’s all. a fun game between pals.”

“YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS TEMMIE’S VERY OBVIOUS GAMBLING PROBLEM!”

“tEM cn quIT wharevr sHE WAN!” She knocked aside more liquor bottles. I decided it would be prudent to ignore her for now.

“DO YOU SEE? IT IS VERY HARMFUL.”

Sans shrugged so nonchalantly it made my blood boil. Well, it would have if I had any blood. “alright, bro. no worries. i swear, one-time mistake. was just an innocent game between pals. ‘sides, now we can get the info from tem here.”

“WHAT?” I looked at my brother with the greatest of suspicion. “IS IT ACTUALLY SOMETHING USEFUL?”

“course. here.” He swiveled back to Temmie who had now calmed from her gambling rage, though she still twitched on occasion. “ya know how it goes, don’t ya, tem?”

“fiNE den!” With that, she pulled out an item from beneath the counter, and shoved it towards Sans. “tak!”

It was a piece of cardboard.

Sans held a piece of cardboard and gave it to me with the happiest smile on his face. “here you go.”

I could not deal with this.

“SANS, THAT IS A PIECE OF CARDBOARD.” I looked at it more closely. “THAT IS A PIECE OF _DIRTY_ CARDBOARD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

He pointed at it. “it’s the best armor this side of monster town. see?” He pointed at its center. “it’s got sparkles on it.”

“tEM LOV sparks!!2!”

I shook a fit of rage off my bony body, my ribs rattling in the process. I gave my brother the best ‘disappointed in my sibling’ expression I could muster. “SANS, I AM IN NEED OF YOUR HELP. CAN YOU PLEASE, FOR ONCE, BE SERIOUS WITH ME?”

That seemed to work actually! Though still smiling, he blinked once, showing that he was listening to me. The cardboard was no longer in his hands. He now held up a filled-up ketchup bottle. “ah, sorry, bro. was just having fun.” He turned back to the counter, eye sockets shut. “tell me what you need.” He gestured to his skull. “i’m _all ears.”_

I was so excited that not even his joke could dampen my enthusiasm! It was time to focus. I pulled out my notepad and readied to write down anything and everything. “HAVE YOU HEARD THE RECENT SITUATION AROUND METTATON’S BODY?”

My brother answered me immediately.

With a shrug.

Okay. This was to be expected. But still, “REALLY SANS?”

He downed the ketchup bottle with a gross gulp. “i heard a word or two.”

Bravely, I pushed through. My brother must know something, despite his laziness! I would know the truth! “DO YOU KNOW IF THE TEMMIES HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE THEFT OF THE BODY?”

Shrug. (He was so lazy; I couldn’t even write down a better description of his actions!)

I sighed. “OK, DO YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ON METTATON’S STOLEN BODY AT ALL?”

Shrug.

I felt the marrow in my bones begin to boil in another fit of anger. “CAN YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN SHRUG FOR ME?”

Shru

The sentence didn’t even bother to finish that time!! Come on!!

My mind nearly slipped into madness. For but a second, I almost thought to pick up smoking as well, but that’s when I remembered one last important question. “WHAT ABOUT _THE FAMILY_?”

No shrug this time! The bar grew silent. Well, other than the whole constant glass shattering thing. Sans took another sip out of his ketchup bottle, as if preparing his words.

“the family, heh,” Sans winked. “surprised you two don’t know about ‘em.” His eyes seemed to stare especially at Undyne for that moment. Strangely enough, she actually flinched at that look, but even stranger than that? She didn’t punch him in the face for it. “they’re an organization of monsters.”

He stalled there for some reason, as if I was meant to take something more than that. I was jotting it all down, of course! Sans didn’t need to wait for me, I was a master jotter. I told him as such.

My bro kept his friendly grin on me as he spoke. “monsters only, i mean. they’re an extremely close-knit group and treat all monsters like their own family. hence the name. their goal is to enrich the life of us everyday monsters and other monster citizens. the family holds tons of fundraisers to help build and design homes for the less fortunate. they make sure we’re treated fairly here in the city and their leader even opens up his own home to anyone that needs it. kids love ‘em.”

I’ve never seen Sans go on this long without a nap! I was so impressed! Also, so much information! “most of this stuff is pretty common knowledge, paps,” my bro said, as if reading my mind. I sometimes wonder if he could do things like that. nah. “they’re run by a big burly goat guy. he _goats_ by the name of asgore dreemur. heh.” Dang it, Sans, I accidently wrote down that stupid pun, too!

Undyne puffed at her cigarette quietly, concentrating hard. She was clearly very enthralled by the information!

All this talking seemed to really be tiring Sans out. He took a few more swigs at his gross ketchup bottles before going on. “asgore’s supposed to be a pretty nice guy. he loans money to monsters in need to just about everyone.” Sans let out a jaw-cracking yawn, his eyelids dropped ever so slightly. “he’s got a wife. toriel. sweet ol’ lady, but looks like things didn’t quite work out between ‘em. word on the street is this asgore doesn’t do everything by the books exactly. maybe why things didn’t work out with the missus, but hey, i’m not one to judge.”

My bro let out one last chuckle, laughing to another joke only he could understand. With a couple mumbles, he lazily made his soft cozy jacket sleeves a pillow and laid his skull down on the counter, out like a light. A little twitch here and there as he slowly drifted into a snoring slumber land. “AW, LITTLE FELLA TUCKERED HIMSELF RIGHT OUT!” I yelled, almost adoring my brother for a brief moment. “ISN’T HE CUTE?” Also he can’t hassle me in his sleep. Well, most of the time.

Undyne grimaced. “He’s sleeping on a puddle of old ketchup.”

I ignored that. My brother’s been in worse ketchup scenarios. Sans’ little legs kicked and swiped underneath the counter, probably chasing after some kind of delicious prize in dream land. He might have been a lazybones in the waking world, but he must have felt quite comfortable and productive in the dream world.

In the literal blink of an eye, Sans vanished from the bar, his bottles of ketchup and stains gone with him as if he were never there. Typical brother shenanigans! I couldn’t help but feel my chest swell with pride thinking of how helpful he had been to our case. This ‘Family’ was clearly related to our theft, and I was determined to find out how!

“I THINK WE NEED TO PAY ASGORE A VISIT.” I looked to my partner and attempted to read her expression. I wasn’t doing very well. Lost in thought, Undyne’s lone eye stared down at the splintered counter before her.  I can only assume she was going through the information in her head as well.

The sound of glass shattering again snapped Undyne out of her trance. Eye meeting mine, she nodded solemnly. “Yeah.”

The light airy feeling of victory embraced my bones. This was a roaring success! I stepped over a few broken tables, made my way past the horribly mutilated chairs, and to the once bustling but now empty entrance way. With that, Undyne and I left to find our newest suspect: Asgore Dreemur.


	4. Shops in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After performing some illegal car-driving maneuvers, Papyrus and Undyne investigate innocent looking shops for clues to their case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A54fP-pU9Y) with a dash of [rain](http://www.rainymood.com/).
> 
> For extra authenticity, read along to the [podfic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYiXrmdiJ20&t=2s) by [Papyreads!](http://papyreads.tumblr.com/)

Rain crackled lightly against the metal hood of my car, slipping and sliding playfully across the windshield as we drove. Windshield wipers hummed rhythmically to and fro, gently pushing the merry raindrops on their way. It was still dark out, but the friendly yellow glow of the street lamps guided me through the city as my vehicle surfed across the slick roads. I felt incredibly at ease.

"Drive faster!" Undyne roared cheerfully, window opened wide. Raindrops pelted her scaly face, soaking my precious seat she sat on. I just came to accept that it would always be 'the wet seat.'

I kept my eyes forward and both hands on the wheel. "NO! I WILL GO EXACTLY AS THE SPEED LIMIT SAYS! MAYBE IF YOU FOLLOWED THE RULES, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DRIVING YOUR OWN CAR!" I was referring to Undyne's previous vehicle which was completely totaled after doing some 'sick flips' off of a cliff. No one was injured, of course. "I DON'T WANT ANY SCRAPES OR BRUISES ON MY BONEMOBILE!"

A particularly big raindrop splashed across Undyne's face, causing a snicker. "I really don't think you should be calling it that, Paps."

I frowned. "IT'S A GREAT NAME! SANS SAYS THE LADIES WILL LOVE IT!" I paused, looking both ways before accelerating through an intersection. I wanted full concentration while driving! "I MEAN, I WOULD LOVE TO APPEAL TO BOTH GENDERS OBVIOUSLY, BUT 50 PERCENT OF THE WORLD'S POPULATION IS QUITE GOOD, I THINK."

Undyne's eye lit up, completely ignoring my rant. "Oh oh, speed up at the turn here! Drift! Drift! Come on! Faster!" Her seatbelt (which I have to force her to wear, or I would refuse to drive her anywhere!) could barely contain her hoots and hollers. She wasn't smoking, at least.

I sighed, trying to find the relaxing calm of that rain again. Asgore Dreemur's address had been quite easy to obtain considering his organization appeared to have such an aura of mystery about it. Sans had said before that The Family was quite common knowledge throughout the city, but I didn't buy it. Sans was always out on the streets, always chatting up the locals, (and swindling them! I really wish he would stop) so of course this info might have seemed pretty common to him.

Driving at a perfectly reasonable pace, I saw the hill sloping downwards that marked our destination. Asgore's place should be right down-

"Pedal to the metal! _YEEAAAH_!" Undyne howled, completely ripping apart her seatbelt in an adrenaline pumped rage. Before I could even react, I felt her boot stomp down over mine, pushing the gas pedal all the way down.

"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU KIDDING RIGHT NOW?" I screamed in terror, my engine crying in unison with me as we barreled down the slippery slope.

Undyne's own roar of laughter and excitement drowned out my own cries, her claws and body wriggling over the seats as she forced herself at the wheel. Lights, water, screeches, and bones spun all about around me in a dizzying death-defying experience. My partner's sopping wet body pinned me down and blocked my view, but I desperately slammed on the brakes with all the strength I could muster.

Tires burned and the world seemed to flip, but before I knew it, we were stopped. "Perfect! Perfect! Yes!" Undyne cackled, leaping out of her seat and through the window like a wild animal. "We parked this thing perfectly, Papyrus! You gotta see this!"

Once I was sure we hadn't died in a horrible fiery explosion, I slammed the door closed as I ran outside. We had actually managed to perfectly parallel park snugly between two other vehicles. I admit, I was impressed, but we also could have died! After a long lecture to Undyne about the safety regulations and laws of the road, I let her know I was only willing to let her pull these shenanigans again like five more times at most! Then I would probably stop driving her around! Maybe!

"I would never let anything hurt you, Paps," she proceeded to remind me, grinning and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. Well, actually, that was quite sweet. I guess I wasn't harmed after all, anyway. Aw, who am I kidding? I can't stay mad at my best friend!

Undyne continued to laugh, still overly stimulated from the drive. Once she faced her rainy head towards our suspect's home, that smile faded. The significance of this job must have kicked in! I'm glad she was finally ready to take the case seriously.

For such a mysterious and possibly dangerous criminal crime boss, Asgore's place radiated warmth. It was a flower shop! I stood beneath the bright yellow awning that sheltered the timid entrance. The doors themselves were quite large, but appeared easily pushed over and approachable. A large window pane on both sides of the doors revealed an absolutely stunning selection of flowers of every color I could imagine! Green, yellow, red, blue, purple, and more, all so bright and all so cheery! Even outside, the sweet scent of the flowers wafted through my nose socket. I don't need a nose to smell!

I turned to my partner, and noticed such a stark contrast between the dark city and this bright shop. She stood under the dark rain, almost hesitant to enter the sweet bright warmth of this shop/home. Strangely enough, even the raindrops couldn't suppress her need for a cigarette right now.

With a cheery jingling of bells, we sloshed our soggy coats through the entrance doors, accosted by a storm of sweet smells. Even Undyne's ashy cigarette stench was almost completely covered in here. "Uh, like, hey dudes, can we help you?" a confused voice called out to us, as if not used to getting customers here for some reason.

Two extremely large men worked behind the counter, wearing ill-fitting pinstripe suits that were much too small for muscled bodies. The rim of their hats were large and pointed down, shadowing any description of their faces, but the man on the left sprouted bunny ears from his head like springy flowers. Two intimidating dragon-like horns stabbed through the second man's hat, scaly hands delicately placing a potted plant on a shelf above him.

I realized now that I was staring quite too long, feeling a little intimidated by their manly physiques. "AH, UM, YES! EXCUSE ME, WE WERE LOOKING FOR A MAN KNOWN AS ASGORE!" I strolled up to the counter, noticing Undyne didn't seem to be following.

I couldn't see them, but I felt this rabbit man's eyes piercing through my rather hollow skeleton body. He looked over to Undyne suspiciously, but she kept her back to him. After a moment, he regained his cheery composure. "What do you, like, need him for? We could help you with any flowers you might need."

Nyeh heh, I always loved this part. "I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, A PRIVATE EYE. MY PARTNER AND I ARE ON AN INVESTIGATION AND WE'D BE MOST APPRECIATIVE IF WE COULD ASK HIM A FEW QUESTIONS."

The dragon man on the right finished his duties silently, resuming his position close to the bunny man. He didn't speak, but I felt that same strange piercing gaze again aimed at Undyne.

"Sorry, Mr. Great, like, he's not here right now," said the rabbit man. "He's, like, really busy helping the less fortunate and stuff."

The dragon made a small grunting noise under his breath.

"Bro? Like, dude! What is it?"

"… Undyne?" the second man huffed, his voice tough and raspy.

Wowie! Twist central! These guys knew Undyne?

Before the bunny could continue, my partner growled quite loudly. Her apparent disguise foiled, she grabbed me by my coat's collar and pulled me out of the sweet flower shop. "HEY! WAIT! WE SHOULD STILL INVESTIGATE!"

Once we were out the door, Undyne looked to me, frowning. "Those guys don't know anything. If Asgore isn't here, we shouldn't waste our time."

I didn't think Undyne was lying, but there was clearly more to this. "HOW DO YOU KNOW THOSE GUYS, UNDYNE? WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO TALK TO YOUR OLD PALS?"

The fishy detective inhaled her cigarette deep for a moment before exhaling a black uncomfortable cloud toward me. "I used to work with them, is all. I don't really want to waste time getting reacquainted with them, at least not while I'm on the job. I can promise you, though, they won't know anything. They're nice guys, but uh, not the smartest bunch."

Undyne worked with those men inside? But if that's true, then that must mean… she used to work for Asgore? Our main suspect right now? She must know The Family quite intimately if that's true. Why wouldn't she tell me? Maybe... It must have been an uncomfortable subject. I don't believe Undyne would ever withhold case information from me. It must not have been relevant, or at least she has to believe it's not relevant. In any case, I will always trust my partner! I'll just… keep an eye on her, is all.

She nodded to me, as if understanding my thoughts exactly. She could see I trusted her, and I saw a glimmer of a smile reach her lips again. "We should talk to the wife for now, at least. 'Till Asgore comes back."

A solid plan! I would have suggested the same thing! Luckily, I had written this Toriel Dreemur's address down as well before we left. I told Undyne to put her cancer stick out, and we were off!

* * *

The drive was much quieter this time. Undyne didn't hoot or holler, she didn't even try to take the wheel! I must admit, I almost wanted her to at this point. I thought I'd enjoy a safe and relaxing car ride, but without Undyne's usual dangerous demeanor it just wasn't the same. Luckily, the rain continued to cheer her up ever so slightly, or maybe it was just because we were putting distance between ourselves and Asgore's place.

It wasn't a long drive, maybe just a few blocks, and we were already there. I parked safely in front, but inwardly sighed to myself, knowing I'd never park as well as we did at Asgore's.

Another sweet smell wafted through my nose socket, but this time it wasn't flowers. Freshly baked breads, delicious looking pies, and beautiful cakes decorated Toriel's store window. Frosted pastries and strudels of all kind paraded themselves tantalizingly before us, but for some reason or another, not a spaghetti noodle in sight. As wonderful as it all was, how could you have any kind of food establishment without spaghetti? A question for another time, I suppose.

Cheery jingles once again greeted us as we entered the warm yellow glow of the shop. Undyne's mood seemed to be rapidly improving, and I could see that she was hungering for a few sweet pastries. It was quite the quaint shop, only a few small tables here and there, all cleaned to a wonderful shine but completely unused at the moment. The glass counter housed even more delicious pies and cakes. The most popular choice was clearly the butterscotch and cinnamon pie, crumbs scattered about its tin, and many pieces missing from its perfectly circular shape. Next to it sat a rather dejected snail pie in perfect condition, untouched.

While we waited, my partner and I felt it pertinent to attempt a peak in the door to the next room. Like Asgore's, the shop was also a home. The door behind the counter had been left ajar, and I could see it connected to her own personal kitchen. Not a single sharp object could be seen, everything appeared completely child proof and safe. Various spices and half-full condiment bottles lay on her own table, along with salt, pepper, and all sorts of jams and jellies. Her own dining table was prepared for absolutely any occasion, but sadly did not look to be used for much.

The kitchen inside stirred and a voice followed. "I apologize for the delay! I'll be right there!" And as the voice promised, a female form delivered. This must have been Toriel. She was a tall furry goat monster, exceeding even my own height ever so slightly! She wore a summery purple dress that danced playfully across the tile and over her white furred feet. Atop her head sat a cute sun hat, complimenting her dress perfectly. She even had a beautiful golden flower dangle atop her hat to go with it! Strangely enough, I could swear I saw that flower smiling at me.

I smiled back politely. "HELLO! I'M THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS! YOU MUST BE MRS. DREEMUR?"

"Great detective work, idiot," a voice responded sarcastically, but clearly not Toriel's. It was harsh and felt almost cruel.

The goat woman reached up and gave a very gentle smack to the golden flower on her hat. "Flowey! Be polite to our guests!" she scolded. I felt my eyes almost bulge out of their sockets again when I realized that the flower did indeed speak to us! Its face was now scowling angrily at the reprimand it received. I turned to Undyne, to make sure I wasn't losing it, and saw that she too was staring wide-eyed.

Noting our surprise, Toriel flushed and cupped her paws together nervously. "Oh goodness, I'm sorry! Yes, I'm Toriel and this," she pointed up toward the flower on her head, "This is my son. He wants to be called Flowey. I'm sure it's just a phase." She giggled a little nervously. "He can be a little cranky."

I've seen many monsters and many strange sights in my day, but I've never seen a mother wear her child on her hat! I wondered to myself how a goat monster like herself gave birth to a flower monster, but knew better than to ask.

"IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, FLOWERY AND MRS. DREEMUR." I made sure to shake Toriel's paws confidently and stare deep into her eyes as a self-assured detective should! I did the same to Flowery as well, grabbing a leaf and waving it about graciously. Toriel appeared to hesitate under my grizzled gaze, while Flowery tried to nip at my hand! Maybe I had just left some delicious spaghetti sauce on there?

"Please call me Toriel," she responded politely, her gracious smile faltering for but a split-second.

"And it's _Flowey_ you do-" The flower was interrupted by another light tap on his petals, a groan escaping from his cartoon lips at the strike.

Toriel then politely drew her attention to Undyne, smiling and waiting. Arms crossed, my partner hesitated at first, as if unsure how to respond. "I'm Undyne. Uh, hey." She smiled and waved meekly at the flower who was glaring daggers at us both. Unbeknownst to his mother, Flowey stuck his tongue out at Undyne childishly, closing one eye in attempt to mock her own missing one. The fishy detective's eye went wide, an angry vein pulsing over her forehead, but she held her tongue. I was so proud she didn't destroy the shop then and there!

I'd let those two play their little game for now. "WE WERE WONDERING IF WE COULD ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, ASGORE?" I asked in my best grizzled voice, but still polite!

In a very strange turn of events, Toriel and Flowey's faces seemed to switch. A grumpy frown appeared over the goat mother's muzzle and an impish grin found its way on the flower's cartoony face.

"Oh, you must mean _Daddy!"_ Flowey's voice turned sickly sweet, yet he spat the last word as if it were a poisonous acid. He looked down at his mother, found her flinch at the word, and grinned even wider. She wouldn't smack him for this for whatever reason. " _Daddy_ is great, he's just an all-around great monster. He builds homes for the poor, he stands up for-"

Toriel practically shoved a piece of her famous pie in her son's mouth. His cartoony cheeks full, a look of surprise for a moment, and then an almost cheerful chewing proceeded. That kept him occupied, letting his mother sigh a breath of relief.

The four of us sat down at a cozy table near the window. Rain was splashing down the pane like a waterfall sending speckled shadows across the wood. Toriel was kind enough to give Undyne and I a slice of her famous cinnamon-butterscotch pie on the house, the delicate triangle seemingly floating above the plate. Undyne happily scarfed it down, bits and pieces of pie flying in all directions as her chainsaw-like chompers grinded it down to mush.

Finally ready to answer our questions, Toriel looked to the rainy window, eyes mixed with sadness and anger. "Yes, Asgore is my husband. Yes, he…" she was having trouble saying the words. "He does good things. He's certainly helped all of monsterkind, I will admit to that point." She finally met our gaze now, angrier than sad. "But I do not think he is a good man by any means."

Undyne nearly choked on her pie, I saw her fists clench under the table, but she didn't speak up. Instead of wrecking the table or roaring a challenging battle cry, she listened the best she could. Flowey, however, was now making more childish faces at her, giggling silently and winking his eye over and over. I ignored Flowey's provoking gestures, but Undyne wasn't able to do as well as me, which in turn only made the flower provoke her even more.

My pie was untouched for the moment, too busy scribbling notes and words down on my notepad. "CAN YOU TELL US WHY YOU THINK ASGORE ISN'T A GOOD MAN?" I asked super coolly.

Toriel's face darkened, her smile long gone now. "He'll do anything for monsters. Anything to protect his family."

I scratched the eraser of my pencil against my skull. Was she referring to the family as in her own family or this organization he was a part of? "I'M NOT QUITE SURE I UNDERSTAND WHY THAT MAKES HIM A BAD MAN, MS. TORIEL."

I could swear flames appeared in her eyes at this point. Such a contained anger I've never seen in even Undyne! "When I say anything, I mean _anything_. He'd never hurt another monster, but…"

My partner was now sticking her tongue out at Flowey childishly as well, fangs glimmering angrily in her mouth. Flowey responded with his own tongue, blowing spit filled raspberries in her direction. I had enough!

"UNDYNE!" I yelled, losing track of the conversation and glaring her way. "YOU'RE AN ADULT! PLEASE ACT LIKE ONE!"

Undyne huffed and groaned a few complaints about how 'he started it' and what not, but finally just crossed her arms and returned to her usual grumpy self.

Toriel noticed the childish faces in the reflection of the mirror. Her own became stern and parental. "And Flowey! You're supposed to be a hideous spawn of the underworld, or at least that's what you keep telling me! Why don't _you_ act like it then?"

"Fine!" Flowey shouted, his face contorting into a myriad of horrifying images. Thorns began –

Toriel smacked his petals lightly, knocking the scary face out of him. "Not while we have guests! Or ever for that matter!"

Flowey looked like he was about to cry. "But moooom," he whined, "You just said-"

"No buts, mister!"

I sighed to myself, completely forgetting my train of thought. It was getting very difficult to focus with that flower around! He was a nice enough boy, sure enough, but I had a job to do!

Feeling flustered, I decided I might as well ask the important question. There was no way Toriel would know anything about this, but it never hurts to try. Well, unless you're trying to fight Undyne, I guess. "MS. TORIEL, I KNOW THIS IS A LONG SHOT BUT…" She stopped fussing with her son and faced me again, her polite smile back in order. "YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT METTATON'S BODY WOULD YOU?"

A mix of confused emotions ran over the kindly goat mother's muzzle. "Mettaton?... Is that the silly T.V. robot? I don't believe I understan-"

"You mean the body that's right out there?" Flowey said casually with an unimpressed look on his face. He was staring right past Undyne and I, looking through the glass door. "Idiots."

I felt as if I were in the center of a twister with all these twists! My neck bone nearly snapped as I _twisted_ my skull and bones around behind us. I heard Undyne choking again on my slice of pie that she thought prudent to begin eating.

Outside in the rain, a small human child wearing a purple and blue striped shirt walked by. Atop the brown-haired head lay a worn and battered newsboy cap. But the most twisting of all! In the human's hand was a metallic purple shoe! Only the miraculous Mettaton could manage to maneuver in such a marvelous metal! A strange red substance was splattered upon the boot. Blood?!

The human sensed all four of our glaring gazes and turned their expressionless face towards us. They did not emote much, if at all, but fearing capture, it sprinted away.

There was no time for pleasantries! Undyne and I scrambled out of the table, stomping and tripping over our own feet as we crashed through the door together, jingling bells tying themselves around my skull in the process. "O-oh dear!" I heard behind us in the commotion as Toriel herself stood up in shock. "Please be careful, it's quite slippery out there!" She was more concerned with our health than her shop.

I looked back to her with a heroic grin. "FEAR NOT, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS UNSLIPPABLE!"

As soon as my boot hit the watery side walk, I felt the world spin around me as I lost my balance and slipped head first into the concrete. I could have sworn that something had tugged at my legs just before my fall – like some kind of rope or vine. But that couldn't be! There were none of those around here! I couldn't think about it that much though, for pain soon washed over my skull instead of the rain from the trip, while some demonic laughter echoed from within the shop. "Ha! You idiot!" someone yelled, followed by a sharp, "Ow! Mom, come on!"

Getting a hold of myself, I looked up to see Undyne tailing the human, leaving me behind!

"UNDYNE, I FELL! CAN I GET SOME HELP!?"

She looked back at me and gave a thumbs up, boots stomping and splashing through the water as she continued to run the opposite direction from me, going after the child. "Don't worry, Papyrus. You can count on me!"

Aw nuts, and this probably would have been a really cool action scene, too…


	5. Street Sea Urchins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a classic chase scene with Undyne!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYcp9Xmv4Yw&list=PLULvqreQJEtDyu3syPxZBjnNn0mdCeXRz) with the usual [rain](http://www.rainymood.com/).
> 
> Read along with the cool-as-heck [podfic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTAbaQIpK8E&feature=youtu.be) by [Papyreads!](http://papyreads.tumblr.com/) With extra [fanart](http://papyreads.deviantart.com/art/Kidnappings-In-The-Early-Evening-Ch-5-fanart-683908639) for your viewing pleasure!

“UNDYNE, ONLY YOU CAN CAPTURE THAT HUMAN!” Papyrus shouted behind me, having fallen into a puddle like a bag of bones.

His heart beat with mine, and that confidence sweltered through my chest. I gave him a thumbs up and roared back heroically, “Don’t worry, Papyrus. You can count on me!”

The rain trickled down my scales and sent a powerful adrenaline through my body! I felt lighter than air, faster than a raging river, stronger than the ocean’s current! Water seeping into my scales, I no longer even felt the need to breathe! Nothing would hold me back, nothing could stop me!

My legs stomped down against the concrete, nearly cracking it with each step, as I gained on the frisky little brat. Was that human a female or a male? Somehow I couldn’t tell, but it didn’t matter! The kid was quick, but I would be quicker!

The brat must have felt my awesome aura because they turned their expressionless face back to mine. If that punk could show any emotion, they would surely be expressing fear now! I reached a claw out, just almost in reach of the kid’s scruffy little shirt, an uncontrollable laughter reverberating from my gills and through my fangs.

Just before I could grasp at it, the human leapt to the left through a damp dark alley way. I felt my lips grin wider. Looks like this would actually be a challenge! My boots skidded across the slick concrete and I drifted into the alley way, never losing even a drop of my speed!

Jumping over dumpsters, clambering over gated fences, the kid showed an incredible agility that rivaled even mine. I, however, felt no need to climb or jump over such puny things! With a punch, the dumpster crashed into a brick wall, out of my way for good. The gate posed no challenge either as I simply dived straight into it, cutting through the metal links with my unstoppable power!!!

This small human was really giving me a workout! Before I could catch up again, they hopped up a fire escape, scurrying up the steps and stairs like the cockroach it was. In only a few seconds, the brat would be on the rooftop, but I knew I could beat them to it.

Another laugh came to me as I envisioned the human’s surprised face when I caught up to them. I let myself come to a stop and tensed my knees, bending down just slightly enough. With the energy of a nuclear bomb, I exploded off the ground, jumping more than two stories into the air. I fell with the rain and crashed down to the rooftop, blocking the human’s way.

“Give it up, punk!” I roared, assuming a defensive stance, ready to nab the kid if they tried any sudden movements.

The human was trapped for sure. They looked left, they looked right, but they knew there’d be no running from me! Gripping that ugly purple Mettaton boot as if their life depended on it, the human proceeded to toss it into the air just over my head. Aha! They must have known they were beaten.

I reached upwards for the metallic foot, fingers grasping at air as it just escaped my reach. While I was distracted with that, the human pulled a cunning and unexpected move. They dived under my splayed open legs, skidding across the wet rooftop, and caught the boot on the other side.

The droplets of water on my scales were now boiling hot as anger began to shoot through my veins. The little brat tricked me! They think they’re better than me?! _They think they can outsmart me!? **Get away from me?!**_

“NGAAAAAH!” I bellowed in outrage. They would not escape me! A green spear materialized in my claws as if it had always been with me. Without a second thought, I shot it out towards the brat’s soft squishy skull. To my surprise, they knew it was coming! They skidded to a halt, the spear sending rubble and cracked cement across the rooftop. Oh, but that was just the start!

The chase resumed, wind and rain rushing through my scales and hair as I sprinted after. I felt my fangs gritting together in frustration as dozens of spears began appearing around the human. Each shot down faster than a lightning bolt, and each one missed just by a raindrop’s distance. The little brat flipped and dodged left and right, never giving up, determined to escape.

But I was determined, too! The edge of the roof was approaching quickly, and neither I nor the human showed any signs of stopping. With the grace and precision of a professional athlete, the kid bounded across the gap between buildings, their shoes slipping and fumbling over the next rooftop’s edge, just barely making it. I had no issues leaping the distance, of course! My fury and pride guided me, I flowed through the cloudy skies as if I were the rain itself!

One thing I didn’t count on, though, was my overwhelming power! Even I underestimated myself! When I landed on the other rooftop, the cement gave way and I collapsed down into a room below, debris, water, and other gunk raining down into the puny little apartment.

An orange cat-like monster had just walked in through the door, his red and yellow uniform absolutely drenched after a long walk home. He looked at me, eyes not wide with shock, but with a defeated knowing. “Typical.” Smelt like burgers.

There was no time to apologize, no time to clean up this mess! (Not that I would have anyway.) I heard the brat’s little feet pitter pattering above, gaining distance from me. No, there was no way I would lose! An idea came to mind inspired by none-other than my best bud, Papyrus. I dashed through the apartment, knocking over tables and chairs despite the sighs and protests from behind. The pitter patter of the kid was closer now!

Window in sight, I crashed through like a meteor, shards of glass showering the alley way two stories below myself. Oh, but I wasn’t going to fall! My claws gleamed under the shine of the rain of liquid and glass, and I pierced them deep into the brick building across the alley, sticking and holding to the wall with ease.

I witnessed the human make another leap of faith across the buildings, floating gracefully through the air just above my head. I grinned and scaled up the brick wall, grunting as I pulled myself back up into the chase. The human would still never emote, but their body language finally showed a hint of shock as they nearly tumbled backward over their feet at the sight of me.

“Didn’t think you’d lose me that easy, did you, you little brat!?”

But of course, they were still determined to escape me.

Another group of spears standing in the kid’s used-to-be position, and they had bolted off again. I still had an ace up my sleeve! Well, I had a lot of aces in my coat actually, since Papyrus is convinced they’re powerful talismans or something, but that’s beside the point!

The usual. The little human leaped across another gap between buildings, but this time I was ready. While they were still in mid-air I focused my power and all my energy onto their puny little body. The laws of gravity bended beneath my power! They were green now, stuck floating, motionless in the air above another dank dirty alleyway.

I laughed. The little brat’s very soul was fighting to escape out of my magic, struggling and squirming to break free. “You can’t escape,” I told them, confident I had captured them now.

Still, the kid was so determined! My skull began to throb, my body suddenly ached as I strained to keep the kid in place. Fine, I was left with no choice! I’d have to weaken the brat even more, then!

Emerald spears flashed like lightning bolts in the cloudy night sky, surrounding the pint-sized punk. I sent them forward one at a time, feeling my power slowing down to a chug. To my surprise and frustration, the kid was able to move one arm, the arm with the boot! They used the metal shoe as a shield, deflecting the spears and tossing them aside like pesky flies.

Gah! Even the rain wasn’t keeping me powered enough now! I felt another disgusting urge to search for a cigarette as my will weakened. No! No time for that! Just press harder, _shoot faster!_

The spears began flying quicker than ever before, the patterns twisting and turning, coming from every angle imaginable! Yet the kid kept swiping them away? How? How was this frisky little brat so damn determined to escape?

They must have sensed my bewilderment at that moment, because I saw a spark in those emotionless human eyes. One of the deflected spears was sent flying back my way, causing me to completely lose focus as it crashed near my feet.

Finally free, the power of gravity kicked back in and the human returned to their usual color. However, they had lost any momentum they had before the jump and simply tumbled down into the alleyway. I didn’t want to hurt the human that bad! Or, well, yeah I did, but I would much rather it was at my hand!

I heard a crash of plastic and metal, bags fluttering and deflating as the child landed directly onto a conveniently placed dumpster below. I leaped down myself, ready to give chase again the second the punk got back up!

There was a rustling in the dumpster, the kid had landed and was completely unscathed. But, somehow…

They looked tired?

I reached out and simply grabbed the kid by the scruff of their t-shirt, lifting them into the air. What happened? It’s as if the kid wasn’t determined to get away anymore. They just hung there, legs and arms limp, as if any and all energy had been sucked right out!

Holding the dangling kid in my claw, a dark thought passed through my mind. A suspicion. No. No, that couldn’t be right. I wouldn’t even _think_ that, no. It couldn’t be, I wouldn’t let it be.

It wasn’t true.

Shaking my head free of distracting thoughts, I snatched Mettaton’s boot out of the kid’s hand. They didn’t even bother to try and stop me now. I squinted my eye against the rain, running my gaze over its sleek metallic surface. That blood Papyrus and I saw before was washed off in the rain, not a trace of the red substance could be found anywhere on its surface. Too bad.

I shoved the evidence away into one of my coats pockets, tossing a few aces out to make room. Hm, now another important question. Where even _was_ I now?

I nearly dropped the suddenly fragile and weak human as I realized where this action-packed chase had led me. Across the street from this alleyway I was in, I saw that warm fuzzy glow of Asgore’s flower shop/home. Ugh, what are the odds I end up here again!?

“Unless _you_ brought me here on purpose, you little brat,” I grumbled, lifting the kid up to eye length so I could glare all the better.

The limp human didn’t even respond with a twitch. Somehow, I doubted they meant to take me here, but…

I must have been lost in thought for some time, or perhaps Papyrus really was just that fast at tracking me. Probably the latter. I saw the Bonemobile park safely and gently by the sidewalk in front of my position, my partner’s dopey fedora looking damp and wrinkled after his tumble in the rain. He stumbled and slipped out the car door, flustered as he began working open his favorite bone umbrella to shield his precious coat from the rain.

“UNDYNE! YOU CAUGHT THE HUMAN!” He yelled cheerfully in his usual way-too-loud voice.

I grinned back at him, but I couldn’t keep those thoughts from returning. No, I wouldn’t think of it. Not now. I needed to get out of my head.

I’ll just let Papyrus handle the rest…

_(The notepad is too wet and soggy to continue reading…)_


	6. The Garden Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus and Undyne chat with 'The Family' leader, Asgore Dreemur, and go over the facts of their case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuPMmmdYkS0&index=1&list=PLULvqreQJEtAdZmfAzmCpO44K54kokJKZ).
> 
> Suggested [rain](http://www.rainymood.com/).
> 
> Edit: 6/17/18 - Updated with the great [Papyreads'](http://papyreads.tumblr.com/) new [podfic!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDmM-1g5gNI&feature=youtu.be) And with even more beautiful [fanart!](https://papyreads.deviantart.com/art/Kidnappings-In-The-Early-Evening-Ch-6-Fanart-749940049)

Wowie! I was overjoyed! Undyne had actually captured that rascally little child, and part of Mettaton's body! We were really making progress!

Finding my partner in the city wasn't very difficult. I simply followed the chaos, destruction, and the howling laughter is all!

Undyne must have really given the small human a run for their money. They were completely tuckered out, damp, and smelly. Their newsboy hat was singed from magical spear burns, same with their striped shirt as well! Luckily, it didn't appear that Undyne ever hurt the little fella. They just hung there in her claw like a tired little puppy.

Undyne kept staring at the child like it was the most curious thing for some reason. I know the child was caught with part of Mettaton's body, but it wasn't _that_ mysterious.

"HUMAN!" I called out in my most heroic and manly of voices. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT METTATON'S BODY?"

No reply. No answer. Not even a twitch of recognition. The human just hung there still. Maybe they didn't hear me is all? I tried asking the same question again, this time shouting my loudest of shouts! As a professional shouter, I don't think anyone could match wit-.

Undyne nearly dropped the human in an attempt to cover her fishy fin-like ears. She grimaced at the power of my shouting. "Paps, please," she groaned.

Hmm… Well the human certainly wasn't taking any questions right now. Maybe they were too tired or maybe just refused to talk?

I turned to my partner, who already appeared lost in thought again already. I had never seen her daydream so much in my life! "WHAT ABOUT THE BLOOD ON THE BOOT?" I asked her.

Her eye blinked, and Undyne returned to me. Shuffling through some damp and soggy aces, she pulled out the shiny metal boot. "Rain washed it off," she said curtly, allowing me to eye it over.

Darn! I suppose it didn't much matter, since Undyne and I both saw the blood and didn't exactly have any kind of machine to analyze it anyway. But why would there be blood on it in the first place? Monsters don't bleed, only humans do! Was it this child's blood? No. There was no sign of cuts or bruises on them, even after the fight.

I scratched my skull. We caught the human and even got part of the body, yet this seemed to only bring more questions! But, I would not fret. Mysteries are like puzzles, and every puzzle has an answer! Sometimes you just have to stare long enough at them to figure it out.

Speaking of staring, Undyne had gone back to it and was looking straight through me. At first, my reaction was to think it rude! I'm not a ghost, I'm a skeleton! I turned around instead to see what had gotten her so interested.

Gasp! Twist! Wowie! Asgore's shop and home! How did we end up here? Did the frisky little human lead us here or was it merely a coincidence? Either way, we needed to speak to Asgore, as he was now clearly our prime suspect, growing more and more suspicious as time went on.

"I'LL TAKE THE HUMAN AS EVIDENCE IF YOU DON'T MIND!" I said, grabbing for the child. Undyne shrugged, not minding at all. Gently and tenderly, I placed the small human in one of my coat's larger front pockets. A few aces overflowed out onto the alley floor as the child's head poked out of the pocket. The child didn't struggle in the least, I'm sure out of politeness!

Everything neatly tucked away, I told Undyne where we were headed next. She nodded, agreeing with me. I looked both ways before crossing the street to Asgore's flower shop, and once the coast was clear, I strolled at an even and lawful pace. Undyne, of course, just waltzed through, without even checking! I'd need to have another talk with her about the safety rules of the road later.

The same bells as before jingled and chimed as sweetly as the flower scents in the shop. Once again we were accosted by all the colors and smells, but after the third time this night, I wouldn't let myself get so distracted. I sauntered forward to the counter, expecting to see the bunny and dragon like last time, but twistingly enough I found Toriel!

Wowie! What was she doing here? Last I remember, she had simply helped me get up and cleaned me off a bit before I went chasing after Undyne. Also, when did she have time to grow her horns out so much and change out of her dress? For some odd reason, Toriel was wearing a pinstripe suit like the last two employees here.

At the chime of the bell, Toriel turned around and greeted me with a warm and gracious smile. "Howdy! What can I do for yo-" She stopped mid-sentence once her large, manly eyes noticed the child in my pocket and the Undyne at my side. The smile faltered for a moment, but she resumed it quickly enough.

"HELLO AGAIN, MS. TORIEL!" I greeted happily, wondering where her mischievous flowery son must be. "FUNNY RUNNING INTO YOU, BUT WE'RE STILL LOOKING FOR ASGORE."

At the mention of her name, Toriel flushed slightly for some reason, the fur on her cheeks turning a light red. The child, the Undyne, and the name all seemed to make her quite confused for some reason. "I-uh, ahem…" she coughed and cleared her deep voice. Maybe she had gotten a cold while I was away? "Toriel is my wife. I am Asgore."

The elbow I had placed on the counter slipped out from underneath me and I crashed my skull into the counter as I heard the surprising twist. Asgore was a clone of Toriel?! I mean, I suppose this Toriel was much bigger and heftier, but they looked so similar! Both white-furred goat monsters! How could anyone tell the difference!?

Toriel – I mean Asgore? – made a small shocked noise, asking me if I was all right after my brush with twists. I assured her- uhh, I mean him not to worry! Boy this was going to be hard to get used to.

Asgore smiled, his cheery gaze looking past me now and towards my partner. "Undyne?" He absentmindedly clasped his paws together.

There was a strange moment of silence. Undyne didn't hoot or holler, but she didn't growl either. She stared at the large goat clone for a moment, her eye roving over his body as if to  make sure this was indeed the real thing. Understandably so! I still wasn't convinced this wasn't just Toriel!

"Hey, Asgore," Undyne finally replied almost sheepishly. She blinked, and a big fanged grin spread across her face. "It's been a long time, you big fur ball!"

Undyne smiled at Asgore, giving him her best firm handshake. Most people would grimace at the pressure, but Asgore kept his warm smile the entire time. I thought it was quite strange to see her so happy like this, but even stranger still? There was a faint sense of unease. As if Undyne was uncomfortable around him. How could this be? Undyne never felt uneasy around anyone.

Handshake finally finished, she noticed me staring at that fishy face of hers. "What're _you_ looking at?" she growled, glaring spears at me. I must have been making my thought provoking grizzled detective face at her without knowing it. I decided to scribble in my notebook instead of angering her.

While I knew we had a case to continue, I didn't wish to pry between two old friends. I let them catch up first.

"You must visit more often, Undyne!" Asgore smiled, his eyes lighting up like diamonds. I noticed bags under them though, as if he were tired and haggard, as if they used to shine brighter in a time long past. "I've learned to make some wonderful teas that I'm certain you'll love."

For a brief moment, Undyne's eye also shone bright. A happiness in her I've almost never witnessed myself. But, for some reason or another, she hid that feeling away. "I'm sure I would," she agreed, leaving it at that. It wasn't like Undyne to be fake around anyone, but part of me wasn't even sure if she was being fake at all.

Another uncomfortable silence. Toriel's clone looked at his enormous paws, noticed he had held them together much too tightly, and loosened their grip. He finally pried his eyes from Undyne and gazed at me with that warm fuzzy smile of his. I felt like I was wrapped in a wooly blanket! His gaze found its way to my pocket, to the child. I couldn't read his expression.

"Ah, forgive me for my rudeness, I haven't even asked your name," he bowed his head in apology.

I nyehed and I hehed and pointed a bony thumb back to myself. "I AM THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS." He was shocked at my greatness, like most are! I'd use this against him and gauge his reaction to my next question! "MY PARTNER AND I ARE ON THE CASE LOOKING FOR A STOLEN BODY OWNED BY OUR CLIENT, METTATON HIMSELF!"

No look of guilt, unfortunately, just confusion. He stared at me, then at Undyne, then back to me. He must not have known Undyne became a detective. "Ah, yes, Mr. Mettaton is a delightful fellow, if not a little enthusiastic. But I'm afraid I don't know anything about a stolen body," he replied, shaking his head sadly.

Now, this part of the job I never particularly liked. I think everyone has good inside them, and I admit it is hard for me to imagine anyone doing any wrong doing! Especially this cuddly goat clone. But! I must find the truth; I must help those in need!

I pointed an accusing bony finger at Asgore, something I've learned is an invaluable part of solving mysteries. "A LIKELY STORY!" I shouted in a way that showed I actually did _not_ think it was a likely story at all! "BUT, WE KNOW METTATON IS IN DEBT TO YOU!" I continued pointing at him.

Asgore squirmed under my perilous point, looking left and right and then to Undyne. She just shrugged. He coughed. "W-well, yes. Mr. Mettaton does owe me money, but I assure you, I am in no hurry to reclaim that money. I trust Mr. Mettaton and I believe he will pay me back on his own time." He was gaining confidence from each word. I was losing this detective battle! No!

I still had aces! Aces everywhere! I pulled out my ace, aces falling and scattering across the tile. Before Asgore's very eyes, I held out the child dramatically. The human, luckily, was still very tired and didn't struggle. "NICE TRY! BUT IF THAT WERE TRUE…" I motioned behind myself at Undyne. She sighed and placed the battered boot in my boney hand. "JUST WHY WAS THIS HUMAN SNOOPING AROUND YOUR HIDEOUT WITH PART OF METTATON'S BODY?" I nearly shoved the child and boot into Asgore's muzzle.

Yes! The tempo was rising! I held the upper hand in this battle of wills now!

The goat clone began to sweat, clearly uncomfortable with the evidence against him! He took a few steps back, holding up his large fuzzy paws almost defensively. "I honestly have no idea," he said, rather flustered-like, might I add! His back was against a shelf, pots filled with flowers clattered gently, startling him. "I actually wanted to ask you…" Asgore fussed with the plants quickly, making sure none were harmed. "Why do you have Frisk in your pocket?"

I felt like I had been dunked onto a twister! Asgore knew the human's name? Surely, more proof of his guilt! "THIS HUMAN IS EVIDENCE AGAINST YOUR CRIME, TOR-I MEAN ASGORE!" I wouldn't back down!

Before Asgore could confess, there was a loud _thump_ that reverberated against one of the walls of the shop. More than the evidence I had shown him, Asgore feared that noise most of all for some odd reason. His body shook as if a bolt of lightning had struck him. He would no longer make eye contact with me, Undyne, or Frisk now.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said, his voice becoming somber. Sad. "This must be a misunderstanding, I assure you, but it will have to be sorted out later." Those eyes that had shone were now dull. His white fur lost its shimmer, he looked almost weak. "Have a look around, if you must, but please respect my privacy. I must be going now."

Before I could pin the crime on him, Asgore had slipped away through a large doorway into his home. He didn't even stop to say goodbye to Undyne! More on that, Undyne didn't chase after him! What was going on here?! Pardon my harsh language, but I was getting sick and tired of being twisted and turned!

In a brief moment of frustration, I regrettably vented it out on my partner, knowing full well she knew more than me at this point. "DID YOU KNOW THIS LITTLE FRISK AS WELL, UNDYNE?" I said, holding the human child up to her.

She didn't get angry with me at least. I think she actually understood my frustration. She shook her head. "No, honestly, I had no idea who that little punk was, and I still don't."

My anger subsided and I felt hollow inside, mostly due to the fact I'm just bones. I placed Frisk back into my evidence pocket. "AW, GEEZ, I'M SORRY I SASSED AT YOU, UNDYNE." I offered her the boot again for her to hold, to show I still trusted her.

She smiled, placing the boot away. "Paps, don't worry about it. You could never hurt me, anyway!" She cackled. Rude! Her expression turned more serious, however. "But we should take this chance to look around."

"AN EXCELLENT PROPOSAL!" I agreed. While I may have gotten nothing out of interrogating Asgore, surely his home held some sort of valuable clues!

First things first. The shop front. Nothing of note appeared to have changed since our last visit, nothing of consequence was visible. The two employees from before were nowhere to be found, most likely finished for the night. From the lack of noise and general stillness, I gathered Asgore was the only one left working tonight, and probably close to closing shop.

The door to his home was slightly ajar, tempting me. Was it right to go into his home while he was away? Well, Asgore didn't leave the shop, so he was most likely somewhere inside still right? The building was of a decent size though, and he could have left from the back. My moral compass wasn't giving me clear directions this time around.

Luckily, Undyne didn't think too hard about this one. She hopped over the counter as if she owned the place and strolled through the door, beckoning me to follow. Well! My partner had a strong sense of justice! If she felt this was fine, then it must be fine! I followed her.

The inside of Asgore's home was quite cozy, much like his shop front. Considering this was the leader of a supposedly sketchy group of monsters, his home was not very decadent. The inside was spacious, of course, considering his enormous size. A fire crackled quietly in a fireplace across from a warm armchair. The fire was unattended, but seemed perfectly in control. No sparks dared to escape their confines.

I figured this was as good a time as any to ask about Asgore as we searched. "UNDYNE, I KNOW THIS IS A SORE SUBJECT FOR YOU, BUT WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ASGORE?" I asked, lifting a cushion from Asgore's armchair and inspecting it for clues. Nothing. Wait, maybe?! No, no, just a cushion.

Undyne was holding a framed picture in her sharp claws, having picked it up from a small table near the chair. The picture showed three goat clones smiling happily together. "You remember how I said I worked for those two guys when we first visited here?" she said almost absentmindedly, staring at the photo for a moment before placing it back down.

I nodded to her, continuing my inspection of the chair! It wouldn't hide any clues from me.

Kneeling down before a small bookcase, flipping through a few flower information books, Undyne continued. "I'm sure you guessed it by now, but I used to work for 'The Family.'" I did! Well, mostly! I pretty much knew that. "Asgore was my boss, obviously. I used to be a little punk like that kid there." She motioned a claw at my Frisk evidence. "He kept me in line, for the most part."

Undyne had finished looking through the bookcase, noting it was almost only filled with books related to flowers and other plant life. After I was sure this chair had nothing to hide from me, we made our way down a hallway together.

"Charity work is great and all," Undyne sighed. "But that's boring. It's not my thing. You know me, I need action!" She punched a fist in the air, startling me ever so slightly. She laughed at the sound of my bones rattling and patted me on the back. I only flinched to make her feel better! "Luckily, Asgore helped me with that. Helping people isn't all building houses and throwing money at them, you know." She sounded almost nostalgic now.

Undyne lead us to a greenhouse. It appeared Asgore had it installed directly next to his home, and considering all the rain we get, that was probably a good idea. Droplets splashed gently against the glass roof, sliding down the glass walls eagerly. The air was humid here. "I mean, of course, I helped build homes, too!" Undyne added. "But sometimes monsters are in need of protection, sometimes they need someone to fight for them."

Flowers of all sorts were budding and blooming here. Many different sets of lights and sprinklers had been set up to accommodate each and every fussy flower. Bags of fertilizer and soil sat neatly inside cabinets and all sorts of other gardening tools that I don't particularly know the use of. I was inspecting those and listening to Undyne at the same time.

"Humans aren't always kind, Papyrus," Undyne sighed, staring at a rather vibrant purple flower. "Asgore taught me to fight." She paused and laughed quietly to herself. "Well, that's not true, I knew how to fight already! He just made me even better at it."

Some golden flowers shone beautifully across the way. Undyne seemed curious and very eager to examine them. They were nearly exploding out of their pots, there were so many growing! "Thing I liked about Asgore," Undyne went on, placing a hand on the golden petals as if she were petting them. "We never really talked much. I think he knew I don't like that kind of stuff." Those flowers were familiar. "We understood each other, without really needing to say it."

Undyne's eye returned from nostalgia land, and her hand went from the flower petals down to the dirt beneath them. I couldn't see beneath the petals; it was absolutely filled to the brim with those golden flowers. For a brief moment, her eye widened as she felt around.

I didn't want to interrupt, as this is probably the most Undyne had ever opened up to me since ever! But, my curiosity got the better of me. "DID YOU FIND SOMETHING, UNDNYE?" I asked, hopeful.

My fishy partner shrugged. "Nah, nothing here," she replied, bringing a clenched claw out from the bed of golden flowers. She placed her hands in her pockets casually. "You find anything?"

To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what I was even looking for! There was no sign of Mettaton's body anywhere here though, that I _was_ sure of. "NOTHING! YET…" I said cunningly.

Our investigation took us back to the hallway. "SO, WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE FAMILY, THEN?" I asked as we walked.

Undyne looked puzzled at that question. She stared at our slow strolling feet, frowning. "Honestly, Paps? I don't know. Something changed. Asgore changed," she chuckled. "Of course, I didn't ask him why or tell him any of this." Yep, that sounds like Undyne all right! "Maybe I changed? I don't know." She shook her head, as if there was something she wanted to say, but couldn't bring herself to do it. "Either way, it was around that time you and I met. I'm much happier going on adventures and solving mysteries with you!"

Goodness me! My boney cheeks became red just thinking about it. I couldn't help but grin, and it felt as if my grin could rival even my brother's! How sweet of her to say. For once, I found myself speechless.

Fangs splayed out in a smile of her own. She scratched the back of her head, obviously embarrassed about revealing so much. "Last stupid mushy gushy thing, I swear!" she yelled. "I, uh… you don't need to worry about me up and abandoning you, Paps." She growled. "And that's all I'm saying about that!"

Aww! Not that I worried about that for a second, but it was still so nice to hear! This is why Undyne was my partner and my best friend! "YOU COULDN'T ESCAPE FROM ME IF YOU TRIED ANYWAY! I'D JUST TRACK YOU DOWN!" I gave her a great big tight hug, and to my happy surprise, I found Undyne only struggled and cursed just a little bit this time!

"All right, all right! Enough of this lame nerd talk!" Undyne slipped out of my grasp and resumed her distance away from me. "We've got work to do!"

She was right! Although, after hearing her past with Asgore and investigating his home, I was starting to wonder if he was actually a suspect after all. Well, that was until we came to the end of this particular hallway.

A door. Just a regular door. Nothing special. It was tucked away at the end of the hallway, incredibly easy to overlook. It appeared no different than any other door in the home, but something about it… frightened me. I was brave enough to admit that I was a little scared!

I looked over at Undyne. I could tell she felt the same way. She hesitated before this particular door as well. Not for long, however, before she began tugging at the door knob. It was locked tight. Normally, locked doors meant nothing to my fishy partner! But this time, she didn't feel too inclined to knock it down. Maybe it was due to her respect for Asgore? Maybe because she wanted to respect the law?

Maybe she was also afraid? No, no. That was wrong. Undyne would never fear anything.

"M-MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T GO IN THERE?" I asked. There was no light on underneath the door. It was dark. "ASGORE PROBABLY KEEPS IT LOCKED FOR A REASON."

Undyne looked at me and nodded. "Exactly."

I couldn't take my eye sockets off of the door. It was clearly suspicious, clearly strange! But I… I don't think I wanted to go in there.

Before I could understand what happened, the door was open. How!? What happened? Undyne wasn't surprised. Did she do something? I didn't like this!

I stared inside at the dark. I couldn't see anything inside. It was dark. So dark. I've never seen a darkness like this so… black. So empty. For some reason I thought of Sans, but I don't know why. I had to go forward though, I had to investigate! But my bones wouldn't move. They were rattling on their own, too? Was I shaking? I felt like I was getting sucked in, almost like losing my essence, myself.

Undyne walked in slowly. A few steps in and I almost couldn't see her already. Before I could muster up the courage to follow, the door slammed shut! I didn't see how; I was too afraid.

I was very scared now. I pounded my bony fists against the door after her. The door wouldn't open! Why was it locked again?! "UNDYNE! WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE!? THE DOOR IS LOCKED! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?"

There was a pause behind the door. "I'm fine, Papyrus. Door must have gotten stuck. I'll investigate on my own and find a way out." She didn't sound afraid.

I wish I could have been braver for her. "ARE YOU SURE? THERE MUST BE A KEY SOMEWHERE!"

"Yeah, there probably is one out there somewhere. Maybe get searching for one," she responded.

I went over my options for a moment. I didn't want anything bad to happen to Undyne! Should I just leave her there in that horrible darkness? But, something told me she wanted me to leave. "I, UH… SURE. I'LL GO LOOK FOR IT." I paused. "BUT IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, JUST YELL, OK?"

"Everything's just fine," she assured me. "But get looking for that key for me, all right?"

I didn't like this at all. But I had to trust her. After everything she told me, after she had finally opened up to me. She trusted me, and I needed to prove that I trusted her. "OK. I'LL GO, BUT I WON'T BE FAR."

I found my way back to the living room. I was a bit more frantic in my search now, admittedly. I tossed the cushion over, threw a few books out of the book case, and checked under every rug. Nothing, still. I sighed. Now wasn't the time to be overcome with worry, though. I had to believe in Undyne, believe everything would be ok. I'd be ready to help if I even heard the slightest noise!

There wasn't a point in searching anymore. Everything that could have been searched, had been searched. I would just have to wait for Undyne to find a way out. I fixed up the mess I had made and sat into Asgore's enormous warm chair. My worries were slipping away, I just needed to be patient.

This was a good time to stop and think. Who stole Mettaton's body?

Alphys? She worked under Mettaton, she was closest to him. She made the body! If anyone knew how to get it, it was her. She clearly was not very happy working for that marvelous metal machine, but would she sabotage him? It was possible. Undyne liked Mettaton even less. She could have even helped motivate Alphys to do so.

No, no, not Undyne. Not right now, I shouldn't think terribly towards her, especially now.

What about the Temmies? They were strange funny monsters, sure, but they also worked for Mettaton, and he also treated them rather poorly. They certainly have the motivation and the means, but did they possess the intellect to do that? It was hard to say.

Then there was Sans. His shortcuts were always a neat trick, and I suppose if he knew where the body was, he could theoretically steal it, but why would he? He has nothing against Mettaton, and also he's my brother, and _also_ he was just too lazy.

I scratched my skull with the eraser tip of my pencil as I stared at the notes. I suppose there's Toriel and Flowey as well, but they don't have the motivation or the means. As far as I can tell, they know nothing about Mettaton.

And last, of course, Asgore. As I already told him, Mettaton owed him money. He has motivation to do so, and with all the monsters and power at his disposal? He certainly has the means. Everything certainly pointed to Asgore, yet we found almost no evidence at his home, and not even a hint of guilt. Was he just faking it? I don't think so with the way Undyne speaks about him. Hmm… it was all very strange.

That's when I felt something strange against my leg bone. A clue!? A twist!? I really hope it wasn't something spooky…

Frisk was wiggling around in my pocket. The human! I almost completely forgot. Actually I did forget. The human was our biggest and most important clue yet! But how did they fit in? Asgore certainly knew about Frisk, but if he was truly a criminal mastermind, he would never name them like that in front of us and give himself away.

Who else knew Frisk? The human clearly wasn't doing this alone.

Suddenly the wiggling became stronger and stronger. Frisk was determined to wiggle!? Wait-

An explosion of aces rained down over the living room, and the force pushed me back into the chair, leaving me stunned. The human had leapt out of my pocket. My evidence! The little rascal sprinted out, and I tumbled out of the chair, trying my darndest to follow.

Zooming through the room like a hyperactive cat, Frisk escaped through the door to the shop. I ran after, of course, but I just couldn't keep up! Before I had even reached the shop part again, I heard the little bells chiming and jingling. Frisk had rushed out the door and into the dark, rainy city.

Dang it! I couldn't chase right now! I couldn't leave Undyne! Our biggest evidence, gone! I sighed. At least we still had the boot.

Things weren't looking up right now for the Great Detective Papyrus, that's for sure! But I wouldn't let it get to me. I decided it was a good time to check up on that door, but while I went there, there was one last thing to think about.

That boot. How Frisk had it in the first place is a mystery, but stranger still was the blood. From everything we had seen, this seems to be a monster related crime. No human should have bled on it, but what could that mean? Was it possible it wasn't blood at all? Maybe Undyne and I both just saw wrong, maybe there was no red substance on it in the first place?

Oh! The door was open now! Undyne was back! Safe! I could barely contain myself as I sprinted towards her.

"UNDYNE! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WHAT HAPPENED?!" I could barely contain my questions. Undyne looked tired, though, almost exhausted even. Part of her coat was slightly singed for some odd reason, and her hair was just a bit more disheveled than usual. She was wincing slightly, but it appeared only because her eye was adjusting to the light now.

She smiled through it all. "I told you, I'd be fine, Paps." The fish woman craned her neck back and stretched her arms, shaking her head as if shaking the darkness itself off her body. She was quick to close the door. "Nothing much happened," she continued. "But I can tell you one important thing I learned."

If I had lungs, I'd be holding my breath right now. Undyne needed to compose herself before speaking the last and final clue to our Mettaton mystery!

"Asgore didn't steal Mettaton's body."


	7. A Quack in the Case!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thrilling conclusion to the Mettaton Mystery! 
> 
> ... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwvVhXItl1w&list=PLULvqreQJEtDEith10FesVQRBQHs0xaQl) with a dash of [rain](http://www.rainymood.com/).

Another uncomfortable car ride filled with silence. There was, as always, the rain battering itself against my car, but no yelling. I really missed the yelling. Undyne had the window down, letting the rain wash over her as usual, but this time she held a cigarette on her fishy lips. Smoke was escaping from her gills and seeping out of her coat now. She didn’t want to exhale, didn’t want the warmth to leave.

I really don’t like smoking in my car, obviously, but Undyne looked so tired, so unhappy with herself. I finally mustered up the courage to ask, “UNDYNE, DID YOU GET HURT? CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE YET?”

She didn’t even turn to me as she spoke. “No, I didn’t get hurt, Paps. I promise you that.” She sighed, and a black cloud blew out the window. “But, if it’s all right, can we not talk about it anymore?” Undyne looked to me now, wanting to drive her point home. “I promise it was nothing relevant to the case at hand other than what I told you. I promise I wasn’t hurt. That’s all I want to say.”

Her lone eye pierced my very soul. I knew without a doubt at that moment she was telling the truth. “OKAY. FAIR ENOUGH!” I replied, feeling much better now. I would wait for Undyne to tell me what was wrong when she felt comfortable. That’s what friends are for!

Now, as for the case? Undyne and I had some new theories, but I don’t want to spoil anything! Suffice to say, I also wasn’t really sure still anyway. With Frisk gone, we weren’t quite sure where to search next. I decided that maybe we’d find the human by Toriel’s again, or maybe find something else. Either way, it was a good time to retrace our steps. I had a good feeling about this.

The Bonemobile parked itself easily in front of Toriel’s shop. Not many were around at this time of night. The shop no longer exuded its usual warm yellowy glow, the lights had gone dark. It must have been closing time. The front door that I had sorta destroyed was now replaced with a large white sheet. It billowed in the rainy wind rather ominously, but I felt Undyne’s courage next to me and feared nothing!

I stood in front of the sheet, looking through it to see the shadow of the once cozy and warm shop. Not much could be heard inside over the rain, but I thought I heard a bit of rustling. Without the ability to knock on the door, I called out, “HELLO? MS. TORIEL! THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS AND UNDYNE ARE BACK TO INVESTIGATE! ARE YOU HERE?”

The sheet danced silently, ignoring my shouts. She was most likely sleeping; it would be rude to bother her at this hour.

“Howdy! Come on in!” a happy voice shouted from inside.

I hesitated. The voice was not Toriel’s. Was it the son? Why would he beckon us in? Undyne grunted, glass crunching beneath her boots as she walked through the shattered door. Strange that Toriel hadn’t cleaned it all up yet. I followed in after, pushing away the fussy sheet.

Only the dark blue rainy light let itself in here now. It was difficult to see, but I noticed a black tangling form atop one of the tables. It giggled as we approached. A brief flash of thunder and lightning boomed throughout the little shop, revealing Flowey’s smiling face as the spooky form on the table.

“So, you two idiots are back, huh?” he laughed.

It was scary in here, but I did not feel the same fear I did as that room in Asgore’s home. In fact, this dark atmosphere felt more like it was trying really hard to be frightening, whereas the darkness in Asgore’s was natural and hidden away.

“FLOWEY, WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER?” I asked, slightly concerned.

His cartoony face began to distort into a strange, terrifying grin. “What do you think happened to her, detective?” Flowey’s voice turned strange and sounded almost guttural as he spat the last word at me.

Gasp! No! Did he do something to her!? “YOU MONSTER! DID YOU TUCK HER INTO BED WITHOUT A BEDTIME STORY?” I cried, finger pointing accusingly at him.  

That monstrous face faded and his normal cartoony frown appeared again. “What. No. What’s the matter with you?” Shaking his petals, he returned to his terrifying self again. “I _murdered_ her!” He cackled, his laugh seemingly coming from the bowels of hell itself.

“No, you didn’t,” Undyne said curtly, crossing her arms. Oh! Well, I mean, if she said so…

Flowey was having trouble keeping up his whole demonic form now. “No! I really did! I killed her in cold blood!” His ghostly wails sounded a bit more like whining. “And now, I’m gonna kill y-”

Undyne sighed and gave a gentle smack to the back of Flowey’s head. With the flip of a switch, she turned the lights back on and the shop was back to its usual warm self. “Quit trying,” my partner huffed grumpily.

Flowey reverted back to his old self, looking as if he was trying to fight back tears now. “Ow! I’m gonna tell Toriel you hit me!” he screeched, his leaves rubbing the sore spot of impact.

I think I was finally getting used to twists now, because none of this seemed to phase me. That or it wasn’t much of a twist? I took my notebook out and kept my pencil at the ready. “MR. FLOWERY, IF MS. TORIEL ISN’T HERE, CAN YOU TELL US WHERE SHE IS? IT’S ABOUT THE METTATON CASE.”

The question was apparently quite funny to him. “You really don’t get it, do you?” He laughed and laughed, another ooze dripping grin drawing itself onto his face. “It was me, you idiots! I stole Mettaton’s body!”

Another swift smack, knocking the smiles out of him. “No, you didn’t,” Undyne growled again.

Flowey looked like he was about to drop to the floor and start wailing. He was truly angry now, but more because he wasn’t getting his way and couldn’t do anything about it. The golden flower then decided that it wasn’t worth the time and instead gave up. “Duck docks,” he mumbled grouchily.

About to smack him again, Undyne asked, “Duck docks? What the hell does that mean?”

Of course! Ah, wait, sorry.

“OF COURSE!” I yelled, a bit delayed. “DUCK DOCKS! I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE TO GO NOW!”

Eye filled with what I can only assume was awe, Undyne looked absolutely baffled. She stared at me for a moment and then began rubbing her temples like a migraine was coming on. I didn’t see what was so hard to understand. “Of course you would know what Duck Docks means,” she mumbled into a sigh.

I nyeh heh hehed. “OF COURSE! I AM THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS, AFTER ALL!” I shouted giddily, feeling the excitement of the case pour over me again. I dashed through the sheet and towards the Bonemobile. “COME! WE HAVE MYSTERIES TO SOLVE!”

There was some grumbling from inside the shop, but Undyne made her way to me as well.

“H-hey! Wait!” Flowey shouted after, smiling sheepishly. “Uh… could you turn off the lights again? So if someone else comes in I could…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Undyne huffed and flipped the switch as she stepped out the door.

* * *

Duck Docks.

The rain had a dancing partner now. Ocean waves gently caressed the beach’s sandy shore, the sound of the ocean harmonizing wonderfully with the light graceful rain. A large wooden dock stood sturdily beneath us, the seas hugging and kissing the support pillars below. Along with this soothing chorus came the main attraction, the stars of the show.

_Quack!_

Two lone ducks quacked and chattered to themselves along Duck Docks. Dock ducks, I suppose one could call them. Now, it is obviously strange to see ducks at the dock by an ocean, and that is why I aptly named this location Duck Docks! It wasn’t official or anything, but it was one of my favorite places to relax and feed the ducks spaghetti samplers.

The dock ducks of Duck Docks instantly recognized me. Waddling at a brisk pace, and quacking all the way, they approached me and stared expectantly. It broke my heart to have to say, “I’M SORRY FELLAS! I’M ON IMPORTANT BUISNESS RIGHT NOW!” I feel like the ducks didn’t understand. They continued to stare.

Undyne stood to the side, making sure to stay out from under my bony umbrella. Her flaming red hair was soaked and sticking to her coat. She eyed the nearly empty docks suspiciously. Someone else was here with the dock ducks.

Duck Docks was not at all far from Toriel’s shop. In fact, I barely turned the corner before I had found myself at our destination! In the distance, I saw a shadowed form at the edge of the docks, and I had a sneaking suspicion of who it was.

Undyne and I made our way toward the silhouette, our thrilling mystery was finally coming to an exciting conclusion! The atmosphere was incredibly tense, and if I had a heart it would be beating out of my chest right now. The dock ducks waddled after me, quacking all the way. They must have been enthralled by the mystery too!

Before the culprit came into view, I felt my eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. Mettaton’s body! It laid on the edge of the docks next to the figure in pieces. The head, the arms, the other boot, the rear! It was all there! The mysterious metal machine, finally in our grasp!

The shadowed figure made a move toward the head piece, looking as if it were going to toss the body into the ocean. No! The dock ducks’ quacks filled me with determination! “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL!” I shouted, dashing into a sprint toward the vile fiend.

“i’m holdin’ it, paps,” came a lazy voice, making sure it could be seen that he was holding the body part up.  

My foot got caught against one of the wooden boards as my skull smashed into the docks from the twist. No! It couldn’t be!? Could it!? “SANS?!” I called out, ducks quacking and waddling all around me, looking for scraps.

Sure enough, after I had gotten my bearings, there he was. My own brother. He stood under the battering rain, but it seemed as if not even a single drop could hit him. His blue snow coat, lazy gym shorts, and fuzzy slippers didn’t see a hint of wetness. A grin spread wide across his skull, he held Mettaton’s marvelous metal mask mischievously. “so, uh, how long did you want me to hold this?” he asked, appearing to stifle a laugh.

I could hardly believe it! By my partner’s wide eyed response, I assume this wasn’t who she had suspected either. “SANS!” I yelled out angrily now, upset to think my brother could commit such a heinous crime. “YOU STOLE METTATON’S BODY?”

“yep.”

So curt, so sure! Sans didn’t even flinch at the accusation or even flinch away from admitting it! I felt a little hurt. I never wanted to believe my own brother would do such a thing. “WHY?” I finally asked, unable to possibly think of a reason.

He was waiting for that question. His grin spread even wider. “ _cuz i aint got **no body** of my own._” He was shrugging.

Sans… he was sad? Lonely? How could I not se-

_OH MY GOD._

“DID YOU STEAL THE BODY JUST SO YOU COULD MAKE THAT STUPID JOKE?” I yelled, the rage coursing through my bone marrow could match even Undyne’s own.

“yep.”

A stomp shook the docks like a tidal wave, sending the ducks fluttering and quacking excitedly. “You’ve got to be kidding, me!” Undyne roared, fist clenched and vein pulsing through her forehead.

“pretty much, yeah.”

I was so furious! Not just for the pun, (although the pun was terrible) but also because my brother committed a crime! Lied to me, his own brother! I’ve always been able to forgive Sans, I’ve always been able to see through his faults and his laziness, but this? I didn’t know how to feel. Emotions swirled through me like the ocean waves below.

I would have to turn him in. Even if it was a joke, jokes like these aren’t acceptable. Stealing someone’s body! What else could he have done? I shook my skull, my entire reality felt as if it were falling apart.

“No, please. Stop,” another voice called out faintly. It wasn’t Undyne, it wasn’t Sans, and it certainly wasn’t the ducks! What now!?

“it’s fine, t,” Sans replied to the voice, that goofy grin of his twitching just so slightly. “don’t worry about it.”

T?! What did that mean?! MeTTaTon!? Was he behind all this!?

The dock ducks were excited again, finally leaving me and waddling somewhere behind. That’s when I heard light footsteps. I turned around to find Toriel! Oh, right. That’s what T stood for. That actually made a lot of sense. Still a twist though! I don’t think my poor body could handle many more twists!

Toriel held a dainty purple umbrella in one paw, shielding her from the rain. Her muzzle was pointed down at her feet, eyes showing nothing but guilt. “I’m sorry, Papyrus.” She turned to face Undyne who had her arms crossed now, not at all surprised. “Sorry, Undyne.” Toriel sighed heavily, ducks chattering around her, kind of ruining the mood. “It was my idea to steal the body. It was me.”

Aha! I knew it! Well, sort of. This at least made more sense than Sans! I think.

His voice was hollow, less jolly. “but i helped. i’m the one who physically stole it. it was me,” Sans added, no longer in a joking mood.  

Toriel looked to my brother, her eyes filled with a sadness that could have only been matched by her clone’s. “Please, Sans, don’t keep trying to take all the blame. It was both of us then.”

I had a good idea myself, and I could tell Undyne already knew the answer to this, but I had to be sure. “WHY?” I finally asked. “WHY STEAL METTATON’S BODY?”

Sans stood by her side, the missing body appearing with him in pieces. Toriel was startled for but a moment, but my brother’s presence calmed her down for whatever reason. The goat woman’s soft paw absentmindedly fiddled with her dress as she spoke. “I wanted to frame Asgore. I wanted to get him in trouble.” She heaved out a sigh.

Oh! That’s why Asgore was so suspicious, that’s why everything pointed to Asgore! They wanted us to believe that! But, why? Asgore seemed like such a nice clone.

Undyne made a noise, a strange sound not of surprise, but something else. Recognition? Her arms were still folded across her chest, but I felt her anger had subsided.

Toriel noticed this. Her eyes were firm, her gaze steady as she looked to Undyne. “You know why, don’t you?”

A little growl or huffing noise left my partner’s lips. “Yes,” was all she replied. There was an uneasy knowing between the two ladies, and I was not in the loop!

The dock ducks chattered and bickered between each other noisily, fighting for Toriel’s attention, but I would fight harder! “WHY!?” I shouted, spooking even the busy little ducks.

The rain was pouring now. The ocean felt angrier beneath us, swirling and crashing into the docks. Yet, through all the noise, it was so silent. Undyne and Toriel both had something to say, but wouldn’t say it. Toriel appeared as if she couldn’t, Undyne just plain wouldn’t.

“she was unhappy with asgore. didn’t wanna be with him anymore,” Sans shrugged, finally filling the silence. “that’s all.”

I suppose that makes sense… it didn’t feel quite right, though. There must have been more to it. Something else. My brother was standing close to the tall goat lady, looking up at her with what I could only assume was happiness.

Gasp! That’s it!

“I’VE SOLVED THE MYSTERY!” I shouted again, startling Toriel. I pointed an accusatory finger at her, my heart and bones full of justice! “YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH ASGORE ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE WITH MY BROTHER, DON’T YOU!?”

Nyeh heh heh! Toriel’s eyes widened with shock, stunned that I unraveled the mystery in front of all. “I-I-um…” she stuttered, looking to Sans, and then to Undyne. “Y-yes! That was it! That was the reason!” she finally admitted. I knew it! Personally, I don’t quite know what she saw in my brother, but that was none of my business! I was just glad my brother was making date friends.

Sans winked at me and shrugged like always. “heh, and here i was hoping to keep it a secret. guess you found us out, bro. you’re certainly not a _defective detective_.” He grinned again.

Ugh! Did that even classify as a joke? Well, no matter, my bro finally succumbed to my amazing detective skills and admitted to my greatness! I wouldn’t hold this joke against him. Although, there was still something bothering me. I wouldn’t allow a case to close with open questions yet!

“THAT’S ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT…” I stalled dramatically, enjoying every moment of this, if I could be completely honest. Toriel looked as if she was having a bit of heartache though. “WHAT DID FRISK HAVE TO DO WITH IT?” I asked.

Another pang of guilt washed across Toriel’s muzzle. She stared at the dock ducks, but didn’t quite see them. “Well, you see, I’m Frisk’s legal guardian… I never wanted them to get involved, actually.” The goat woman’s paw absentmindedly fiddled with her dress again as she spoke. “The plan was to have Sans use his ‘shortcuts’ as he calls them to steal the body and then plant the pieces throughout Asgore’s home.”

Of course! Yes! I nodded along, jotting down every detail in my notepad, keeping the umbrella held under my arm as I wrote.

Toriel was looking a bit nervous now, unable to make eye contact with anyone. “I knew Mettaton would hire someone or tell someone to start looking, but I never expected it to be you two…” she seemed to be stifling a cough, mumbling her words. “And even if Mettaton did hire you both, I especially never thought you’d find us out so fast.” What was that supposed to mean!? “We didn’t even have time to set our plan into action yet.”

Well, insult aside, everything checked out there. “FRISK THEN… FRISK MUST HAVE ACTED ON THEIR OWN ACCORD?” I asked, really excited and hoping the answer would be yes.

“Yes,” she replied. Yes! I was right! “Frisk has always been such a good child, but does often act strange at times. I suppose they wanted to help me get the pieces to Asgore, or maybe even…” Toriel stalled, taking in a breath. “Maybe Frisk wanted to see Asgore again. Maybe Frisk wanted to be caught. I don’t know, honestly.”

The dock ducks had finally gotten bored, realizing they would not be getting any scraps tonight. They sauntered off themselves, enjoying the rainy weather. Toriel’s gaze followed after them, staring in a strange, almost loving manner. I didn’t understand. “Once Frisk got involved into my misdeeds, the guilt of what I had done came crashing down. How could I put my own child in danger to try and stop my husband? That’s exactly what he would do, and I can’t stoop down to his level.”

What did that mean? Stoop down to his level? What Asgore would do? Hmm…

“After you two went chasing after Frisk, I decided I would stop this awful plan of mine,” her eyes were angry, but mostly towards herself. “Sans and I would simply toss the body parts off these docks,” she sighed. “It wasn’t the most brilliant plan, I know, but I was panicking. I’m sure the body would have turned up on the shore for someone else to find eventually. It would just be a little rusty, is all.”

“nothin’ alphys couldn’t fix,” Sans assured me with a cheeky smile, leading me to believe that this little dock stunt was more his idea than Toriel’s.

A small noise left the goat lady’s muzzle. “Either way, it was wrong of me. I stole something from someone innocent, and I put innocent people in danger.” She looked to me and Undyne, eyes now firm, but still guilty. “I know an apology can’t erase what I’ve done, but I’m so sorry nonetheless.”

I waited patiently, my gaze on my brother, ready to hear his apology as well. He just looked at me like I had told him a funny joke. I hadn’t!

“We’ll say we found the body on the docks,” Undyne suddenly spoke up, her eye nearly as sharp as her spears. “We didn’t find who stole it, but we found the body. That’s all that will matter to Mettaton.”

Gasp! But… that was wrong, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it our duty to turn in criminals? But no one was really hurt here, right? It was a mistake, after all. Toriel at least surely felt badly enough! Maybe this would be the best for everyone. The case would still be solved and no one would be hurt! I couldn’t think of a happier ending!

“NYEH!” I nyehed. “THAT’S RIGHT!” I winked audibly towards them. “UNDYNE AND I FOUND THE BODY AT DUCK DOCKS ON ONE OF MY BRILLIANT HUNCHES! SOMEONE MUST HAVE JUST MISPLACED IT!”

The goat lady blinked at that, clasping her paws together over her umbrella. “Oh, is that truly alright? I wouldn’t want you to feel that you have to-”

“that’s a great idea, bro.” Sans balanced Mettaton’s mask in his palm, a bit too carelessly, I thought. “guess you could say that mettaton just _lost his head_. heh.”

I marched up to my brother and swiped the Mettaton body part from him. “I’M CONFISCATING THESE SO THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER BE VICTIMIZED BY YOUR TERRIBLE JOKES.” I narrowed my eye sockets to show him how serious I was. “AND YOU HAVE PROBABLY BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE TIME, HAVEN’T YOU?”

Sans shrugged just to infuriate me! “hey, i have standards, too.” One of Mettaton’s long arms appeared in his hand. “but when metts _needed a hand_ , he sure knew who to call.”

“SANS.”

“without you, bro, he might have never _found himself._ ”

“STOP.”

“and he wouldn’t have had a _leg to stand on-”_

I took back each and every body part that Sans kept holding onto, until my arms were overflowing with various items that made up Mettaton’s body. I, of course, was never even close to dropping them, not the Great Detective Papyrus! “CLEARLY YOU CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH THESE.” And on closer inspection, I saw that on one of those parts, the chestplate, had a bright red stain on it! It could not have been blood? But what else could it-

“SANS, DID YOU GET KETCHUP ON METTATON?”

“ya caught me _red-handed,_ bro.”

“OH MY GOD.” I turned away. “I AM GOING BACK TO METTATON THEN. TO DELIVER TO HIM HIS BODY.”

“good idea. now he won’t be so _spineless_ anymore.”

“OH. MY. GOD.”

I noticed that Undyne still continued to be very quiet throughout all this. Normally, I would expect her to also be angered at Sans’ terrible puns, but she was staring at the goat lady, all somber-like. “UNDYNE, WE SHOULD BOTH GO TO METTATON. I JUST NEED TO GET THESE TO THE BONEMOBILE.” The metal parts clanked away as I walked over to my car. Where could I put these? There were too many to put in the backseat. There weren’t enough seatbelts to hold them! After all, safety comes first.

“I think I should do some exit questions for these two, Paps.” Undyne turned to me. “Ya know, standard detective procedure stuff. Just so we can tie up any loose ends.”

“OH. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO HELP? WE CAN DO BAD COP, GOOD COP LIKE YOU ALWAYS WANTED.”

“Nah, I can do it myself.” She gave an easy grin. “Once you’re done putting those away, I’ll already be done. Then we can go give back Mettaton’s body together.”

The goat lady was staring at Undyne very intently. “I would not mind answering a few more questions.”

Sans looked ready to fall asleep, like always. “’sides, bro, looks like you already got your hands full.”

“THAT’S IT. YOU’RE GETTING COLD SPAGHETTI TONIGHT, MISTER.”

As I started to carefully put away Mettaton’s ludicrously long legs into the trunk, I started to imagine just how thrilled our client would be! Not even Sans could ruin such a feeling! Another case solved by the Great Detective Papyrus and his loyal partner and best friend, Undyne! Everything was all wrapped up!

Although, as I was trying to make the legs fit, (they kept extending for some reason??) I couldn’t help but think some other vital clues might have been missing. Perhaps I would talk with Undyne about that later…

But! It mattered not now! Case closed!

 


	8. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne makes a discovery.
> 
> And a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No music. No rain.

The door slammed behind her as Papyrus continued to bang against it. “UNDYNE? WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE? THE DOOR IS LOCKED! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?”

She had locked it herself. “I’m fine, Paps. Door must have gotten stuck. I’ll investigate on my own and find a way out.”

“ARE YOU SURE?” His voice was filled with worry. “THERE MUST BE A KEY SOMEWHERE!”

Undyne clutched the key in her hand reacting to his words. She hid it away in her pockets. “Yeah, there probably is one out there somewhere. Maybe get searching for one.”

A brief moment of silence. “I, UH…. SURE. I’LL GO LOOK FOR IT.” Papyrus paused. “BUT IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, JUST YELL, OK?”

“Everything’s just fine,” she assured him. “But get looking for that key for me, all right?”

Silence at the door again. He was pondering this over. _Please just go_ , Undyne thought desperately to herself.

“OK. I’LL GO, BUT I WON’T BE FAR.”

Undyne let out a silent sigh of relief as she heard the bony boots stomp outside the door away from her location. She didn’t want Papyrus to see this, she _wouldn’t_ let him see this.

It was dark, unnaturally dark. The room stirred with moving forms. Something was in here, and she sadly knew what it was. A green spear materialized in her hand very slightly lighting the dark, barely enough to see past her own face. She didn’t need to see to know what was down here.

Undyne walked forward, passing by rows of beds on the way, the sound of sheets shuffling ever so quietly invaded her ears. Some beds were quiet, completely still, but Undyne sensed they weren’t empty. She didn’t want to hear them; she didn’t want to see them.

“Asgore,” Undyne breathed out lightly. He would hear her. He knew she was here.

He didn’t reply. He sat at the end of the room in a chair made for his large size. A small red flame floated near his head, illuminating him just barely enough in the darkness. He looked over the beds, a sad frown across his muzzle.

“Asgore.” Undyne repeated, louder this time, tightening her grip around the spear.

“Yes. Yes, I know,” he sighed.

The warrior tried to control herself, but her fangs grit together anyway. “You can’t keep doing this. It’s wrong.”

His eyes continued to comb through the darkness, but they would not meet Undyne’s. “I have to. You should understand that. You saw him.” His voice drifted away, something caught in his throat. “Asriel.”

 

Undyne felt a blow to her chest, but not a physical one. “I saw. But this?” she motioned to the darkness, the silent shuffling causing her very scales to itch. “This is messed up, Asgore.” She paused, unsure if she had the strength to ask the next question. “… the ones not moving…” her voice faltered, went below even a whisper.

Asgore was angry. Not at Undyne, not at the dark, but at himself. “They don’t go to waste.” He stood now, his height greatly outmatching Undyne’s. His face was shadowed; he didn’t want it to be seen. “If this is what it takes, then I have to. Please, leave me be.”

Another blow to her chest. Undyne’s fingers slipped around her spear, head turned away. It hurt her to see him like this, but she wasn’t surprised. She knew Asgore, she knew what he was capable of, but she didn’t think he would ever act on it. No, she just wouldn’t believe it. For once, there was something in her life she was afraid of, something she couldn’t face, but not anymore.

“I won’t leave until you stop.”

Asgore’s horns glinted in the fire’s light. He reached for something in the darkness. His weapon. “Think of the good it could do,” he pleaded half-heartedly. He knew what her response would be anyway, knew it was pointless.

Another stab to her chest and her voice raised. “Look what it’s doing now!” She cursed herself for yelling. She didn’t want to disturb the dark.

Asgore shushed her. Undyne flinched as if her own father meant to punish her. Asgore finally raised his muzzle and his eyes met with Undyne. “If I didn’t listen to my own wife, why would I listen to you?”

Her heart nearly burst now. Vision blurred for a brief moment, but she shook her head, shook away the bad thoughts. “I’ll make you, if I have to,” she nearly choked on her words, shame clogging her throat now too.

“I don’t think you can,” Asgore replied, trident now shimmering in the dark.

She actually laughed lightly, lowly. “I could say the same for you.”

He laughed too. A brief moment of cheer in this dreary horrible place. It didn’t last, and his frown resumed, his eyes once again looked away. “Not here, at least?”

“Not here.”

“Good. I’m glad we can still agree on most things.” That was probably what made it hurt the most. “Do you want anything? Tea or…”

She sighed.

“Yes, I figured as much. Over here then.”

The two went through a door in the darkness. The shifting forms were behind them now, in another room, away. But their tiny breaths still infected Asgore and Undyne’s mind. The silence was worse. This hallway was just as dark, just as sad. Asgore didn’t want any lights here, he wouldn’t lie to himself or anyone else.

Green and red lights met in the dark, flame flickering softly. Undyne kept her spear at the ready, her boots dug into the floor beneath. Asgore’s trident stood tall next to his body, but he did not seem ready to strike. Undyne told herself she needed more answers before she could attack, but she knew it was a lie as well.

“Alphys?” Undyne whispered. Even if they were now away from that horrible darkness, she wouldn’t raise her voice any more than this. She didn’t want to admit it, but she couldn’t speak higher than a whisper anyway.

He nodded sadly. “At first, yes. She refused very shortly after she witnessed the effects. I only call on her in emergencies.”

Undyne wanted to scream _don’t ever call on her!_ But she couldn’t. She knew better. She wouldn’t do that to Alphys, she wouldn’t do that to the dark. All the more reason the warrior had to kill him. To think Alphys had to suffer this darkness, this sadness. Because of him.

Asgore must have noticed Undyne’s inner turmoil. His head sank lower than usual, lips frowning more still. Even through it all, he wouldn’t let go of his weapon.

“Fine. We do this,” Undyne growled through gritted fangs.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he breathed patiently, standing perfectly still.

There was an intense burning in her skull. Undyne’s brain felt as if it were on fire, torturing her from the inside. Asgore hadn’t raised a finger on her yet, nor had he used any magic.

_It doesn’t matter, just do it! Do it! Do it, now! Stop stalling, do it!_

Green thrusted forward into red. The darkness lay still. Asgore hadn’t moved, Undyne had missed. Her skull burned again. Another thrust, and another miss. Couldn’t he at least pretend to dodge? Couldn’t he just attack her first?

“Damn it!” Undyne screamed, throwing the spear down at her feet, near Asgore’s feet. Why did he have to be this way?

Even now, he still couldn’t look at her. “I told you.”

Her mind melted, her vision blurred. Red, green, black it all meshed together. Undyne’s heart pounded into her skull, breaking the bone. Her throat constricted, barely any air could find its way to her. A fit of sheer madness took her, it was the only way to explain how she could do this.

In the next moment, green had pierced red. The spear stuck out of Asgore’s stomach, his eyes wide for but a brief moment. Those eyes shimmered with a sad knowing. He tore the spear out and retaliated instantly with his own. He didn’t miss.

Undyne quickly felt herself overwhelmed. Asgore had never fought back, never. Not even in training sessions. She desperately parried and blocked each blow, feeling the walls become smaller around her. Even if she blocked, the trident’s tip still nicked her scales almost each time. The trident had longer reach, was sharper, and more prone to sneak its way past her defenses.

It wouldn’t help anyone to die to Asgore.

Red and green crashed together like thunder now, lights exploding through the dark. Undyne couldn’t physically counter Asgore, his attacks were too swift, too strong. Spears materialized behind his back and shot forward with lethal intent. Asgore sensed this, he saw the lights appear. In a quick motion, his hand moved backwards and flames devoured the hallway, absolutely destroying the spears.

This was her chance. She thrusted again, no missing this time, not anymore. Asgore, however, was still too quick. The spear was caught between the tridents prongs now, the two weapons locked in a power struggle. Undyne’s brute strength pushed forward, her spear inching toward his heart.

A sound escaped Asgore’s lips. Flames enveloped the warrior, but didn’t quite burn her scales. Still, it caused a falter. Red tossed green aside as her spear clattered and vaporized into dark. The shaft of the trident struck her forehead and Undyne toppled back, thrown to the ground.

Only red now.

Asgore stomped his boot on top of her chest, placing his entire giant weight upon her, pinning her to the singed floor. The trident’s tips glimmered near her face, warning that any other movement would be her last.

“Go. Now,” Asgore demanded. As much as he tried, he still couldn’t sound intimidating. His words were more like a plea.

“I’ll take them with me then,” Undyne sputtered desperately, weight constricting her lungs.

He couldn’t keep eye contact, couldn’t look at her. “I will kill you if that happens.”

“Someone will stop you!” she tried to scream, but it wasn’t in her.

A sad smile lit his face in the red dark. “If you couldn’t, who else could?”

Her skull boiled again, her mind screeching. He was right. He was always right. “I’ll do it then!” She paused, unsure. “Somehow.”

Something happened in him. Asgore sighed and it appeared as if his very soul escaped his body. “I believe you.” His body almost went limp, his red flame faded. Slowly, his weight pulled off of her. The trident suddenly seemed rusty, dull almost. He turned away, back facing her.

Undyne stood tall again. She could kill him now, she knew. He wouldn’t fight it anymore. That wasn’t the way, however. It wouldn’t come to that anymore.

She dreaded having to walk through that darkness again. She couldn’t imagine how Asgore did it every day. Undyne glanced toward him one final time. His form was hunched in the darkness, he seemed to have aged rapidly after the encounter. He couldn’t speak anymore.

Undyne left him in that darkness, knowing she would win. She felt no pride in it, however, but it had to be done. The lock clicked and the door was open. She left Asgore to this horrid black hell he had created and returned to the light.

* * *

That memory kept replaying over and over in my head. On the one hand, I wished it would stop, but on the other, I needed to remind myself of it, needed it to keep me motivated. I wouldn’t forget anymore; I wouldn’t lie to myself about Asgore.

Papyrus was busy putting away Mettaton’s pieces over in the car, leaving me alone with Toriel and Sans. They both knew what I knew now, they both wanted to stop him. It was because of them that I was finally forced to see Asgore for what he was.

Toriel felt my gaze and most likely couldn’t handle it. I suppose I was probably looking pretty angry, but I’m certainly not going to smile right now. Sans, of course, kept eye contact on me, that creepy grin of his staring more than his own eyes.

“So…” Toriel finally mustered up the courage to face me again. “You know what Asgore was doing, right? You know why we really did this?” Her expression was firm, but the tremble of a lip, the quick movement of her eyes betrayed her courage.

I didn’t want to say it, but I needed to prove to them, and more importantly myself that I was hiding from it no longer. “Asgore is sucking the determination out of kids. I know. He’s doing it for your son, Asriel, in hopes that maybe a soul, maybe more determination will bring him back.”

The lady flinched. She wasn’t ready to hear it. Maybe she didn’t think I knew quite as much as I did, especially considering the information about her son. Didn’t look like she could even reply, now.

“yea, that’s right,” the skeleton said in her place. His eyes were hollow, dark. Dark like that room. Sans had the same thing Asgore had in him. I don’t like it, and I don’t trust him. Maybe he hasn’t done anything as bad as Asgore, yet, but I know he has the potential.

Sans shrugged, as if reading my thoughts, but it was more than likely I was glaring too harshly his way again. “Stealing a body and framing him isn’t much better than what he’s doing,” I said. “We can’t stoop to his level. He thinks it’s for the greater good as well, no matter who it hurts.”

Toriel made a noise, but it was muffled by the rain. Sans continued to speak in her stead, but I sensed an edge in his voice now. “what else are we supposed to do, then?”

I crossed my arms over my chest, felt the droplets beating against my scales. I grit my teeth, trying to think. I’ve been trying to think of this solution ever since. “I don’t know.”

The skeleton didn’t move, didn’t emote in the slightest, but I could tell he was angry. “then who are you to judge-”

“She’s right, Sans,” Toriel finally breathed out. “There needs to be a better way.”

Whatever anger I sensed before was gone now. San’s pupils returned, staring up at the lady, almost surprised. “whatever you say, t.”

Good. They were willing to listen, willing to try again. Things would be better this time, or at least I hoped. “You two know how to reach me,” I said bluntly. “I’ll figure something out, but we’ll need to work together.”

Toriel nodded. Sans kept his hands in his pockets and pointed those empty eye sockets towards me again. “we can’t wait forever, you know. _they can’t wait forever_.”

God damn it, of course I know that! That rotten skeleton! If he wasn’t Papyrus’ brother…

No, no. Not right now, now’s not the time to get angry. If I don’t think of anything, it’d be left up to Sans. Whatever he plans, it won’t be good. He’ll get it done, but I’m sure it won’t be pretty. All the more motivation for me to come up with something and fast.

“Papyrus can’t know about this,” I said bluntly, watching him from afar as he delicately placed each robot body part in the backseat, wrapping them up gently in seatbelts as if they were his precious children.

Sans nodded along with Toriel. Waves crashed against the docks, reminding us of our limited time. “We’ll keep in touch,” Toriel said.

I nodded back to them in agreement. Nothing more needed to be said now. This little Mettaton case was closed at least, and I was glad to be through with it. Papyrus was happy at least though, and even in these dark times, that lifted my spirits up.

I went over to the Bonemobile, and just thinking that dumb name made me laugh a bit. Of course, Papyrus would love something like that. After he bundled up the parts safely, and laid out those freaky legs in the trunk, he went over to his seat.

“HI UNDYNE.” He waved excitedly at me. “READY TO GO TO MTT STUDIOS? I BET METTATON WILL THROW A BIG CELEBRATION FOR US FOR SOLVING THE MYSTERY.”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” I slid into my seat, my window already rolled down, just the way I liked it. It’s good that it rains here a lot – I’m going to need it. “He might be sleeping though.”

“OH.” Papyrus looked worried. “SO SHOULD WE WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW?”

I felt a huge grin on my face, then patted my best friend’s shoulder. “Nah, let’s just wake him up! It’s important news after all! I’ll even call Alphys to help out.”

“WOWIE. THAT’S A GREAT IDEA.” He started the ignition, bones rattling in excitement. “ANOTHER CASE CLOSED FOR THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS!”

“Yeah…” I peeked out the window, wondering how both Sans and Toriel thought of all this. But they were gone, of course. Guess Sans didn’t feel like walking back to the pie shop. I turned to Papyrus. “Until the next one, right, Paps?”

He nodded enthusiastically, so incredibly happy. “THAT’S RIGHT.”

Right, and that’s a case I intend to solve for good.

**Author's Note:**

> Written by [Sky](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/699150/Sky-s-Penname) with my help. 
> 
> Crossposts here!  
> [FF.net](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11967832/1/Kidnappings-in-the-Early-Evening)  
> [Tumblr](http://darkhymns-fic.tumblr.com/tagged/undertale-noir/chrono)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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